am i being punked?

i went to a dance. i hope your food storage and 72 hr kits are in order because this certainly is a sign of the apocalypse. i dance with one man who was seriously old enough to be my father. not kidding. not exaggerating. i turned down one man who was probably 6 inches shorter than me. the music was pretty good and some friends were there, so while i hung out, there were friendly faces and some good conversation. not to mention the snacks-yummy food was abundant. i spoke with a few people by the dj stand and then realizing i needed a break, i stepped out into the foyer and there were a few people sitting there chatting, including one man that i had met a few weeks before. SIDE NOTE: i have put off writing this post because i could not figure out a pc way to describe this man. i havent figured out how to do it, so i am just going to say it straight. i think this man was in a horrible accident. he has obvious physical disabilities(that he valiantly works around)and i am fairly certain he probably had a traumatic head injury. there is some obvious disconnect. social filters were missing. anyway, i came out into the foyer and along with this man, there were 2 other people i had met that night and we chatted pleasantly. the man started coughing really bad and when it subsided, i asked "are you ok?" he replied he was fine, that it was just a lagging cough from a cold he had a few weeks back. he then proceeded to wipe his mouth, pulled his hand away with a fist full of phlegm and leaned over to scrape his hand against the edge of the waste basket. in front of us all. he never excused himself or went to the mens room to wash his hands. i swear. hand to heaven.

crazy busy, but getting very little done. i hate it, but its the story of my life. i have made changes over the past few years that have cut my procrastination tendencies by about 1/3. truly a miracle. now i need to work better at scheduling so i dont have a weekend like i am going to have this weekend. i think it will be mostly fun, but sad too. my niece is going away to college and there are 2 family gatherings for that. a big favor for a friend, some shopping, and an actual single adult activity.considering everything else, i would have bailed on the activity, but i was part of the planning committee and have some obligations there. oh yeah-an impromptu birthday lunch for another friend. its going to be busy and hopefully productive. when its all over, i have to schedule september within an inch of its life or else i will loose track of everything and be in big, fat trouble. i would like to schedule some dates, but at this point, i dont see that happening. well maybe, but its not with anyone i am really interested in. is it ok to go out with someone just for fun? taking into consideration the over 40 desperation to get married and he likes me way more that i like him. i have been honest, but,,,,

turn off?

are funny, smart ass girls a turn off? are men intimated by girls that can make them laugh because they like to be the comedians?
i love funny men. making me laugh is a big deal(to me, anyway), but i am wondering if seeking out the comedian is not a good idea.

BOR-RING

i am so bored being single. bored with my long dating hiatuses. i am just bored. maybe its an end of summer thing? i just dont know and i am too bored with it to try and figure it out.
apathetic. ambivalent. annoyed.
like the alliteration? ;-)
anyway, thats 3 a words that describe me at this point.
i once heard only boring people get bored. do you think thats true?

blind date

can i see a show of hands those of you that have been set up by a friend or family member? i never have. there was one guy that might sister thought i might be interested in, but one of my brothers shot her down because he knew the guy to be a little wacko.
one friend said she knew someone in her moms ward that would be just my type, but then they found out some crazy stuff about him.
in both of these cases, i am sure i dodged a bullet, but i have been wondering lately why people dont try and set me up?
maybe they know that the old smc would never go for it, but i am here to tell you that i would go for it now. i am now in a phase where i figure everything i do doesnt work, so why not try something new?

wow

i cant remember the last time i have gone this long without posting. i wish i could tell you its because i met THE ONE and i am all in love and just dont have time to write because i am too busy making out and trying not to break the law of chastity because THE ONE is so absolutely divine and we cannot keep our hands off each other. nope. that aint it and if i said it was, i would be LYING.
i have been busy with tedious life stuff with a few fun things thrown in with friends and family. the summer has been long and pretty much uneventful, but i have enjoyed a few road trips to the lake and enjoyed my time with good, life long friends.
mr nice guy is being a good friend and respecting boundaries. mr ex man is not. he admitted the other day that he still wanted to be with me, but couldnt see past the distance and how to fix it. whatever. i am currently avoiding his calls and texts without telling him i am doing it. its working so far.
mr new guy? fuggitabutit. i really dont know what to say about him beyond my speculation that the attraction was based on the fact that he reminded me of mr ex man. i am in the process of making a variety of mental health appointments to address this issue.
if someone runs into my dream man, could you please send him my way?

the friend gateway

it is all new to me, but the friend experiment with mr ex man in proving to be quite a freeing experience. i dont feel the need to make my point or prove him wrong(which he is, but i dont care to point it out)or prove myself right.
he gets on my nerves with all his ex-mormon crap, but because we are "friends" and not potential eternal companions-i can just let it all go.
that is what i am saying now, but it could change at any minute because of the volatile nature of his mood swings.
thats another thing-because i am no longer invested in a romantic relationship with him, i no longer have to engage in those "important" conversations that take forever because we are trying to work on our relationship.
he called me over the weekend and we spoke for about 5 minutes before i wrapped it up and told him it was late and i was already falling asleep. i know he wasnt happy with it, but he had asked to be friends before and i always refused. now he got what he wanted and he can hardly complain when i treat him like a friend.
a friend understands when you are tired and cant talk, right?
any good stories out there about the friend transition? good or bad. lets hear it.