cougar in the grocery store

when jake from confessions from a mormon bachelor pad called me "cougarlicious", i laughed. blushed then laughed. i had to reconsider the whole thing today. in the grocery store today i found myself flirting with a KID who might have been 25. maybe. he started it. he saw me looking at a silly poster in the chip and snack aisle and made a funny comment. it was truly funny, so i laughed and we stood there flirting like crazy for a few minutes. he was super cute-i usually dont go for the blondies, but he was sweet, had an amazing smile and was nice(or a well disguised serial killer. hard to tell sometimes). i moved on to finish shopping and on my way to the check out one of the bags of chips fell from my cart,so i went to replace them. i happened to pass him again so i sweetly asked him(ok! i might have been batting my eyelashes and shooting sparkles at him)if he would trade me my chips for his. he simply smiled and said "sure". i kept smiling at him as i passed by and went back to the chip aisle to get a new bag. shameless!!! i beat it the heck out of there. i am on a dating hiatus!!

high maintenence

i worked with this guy who was married to the most extremely high maintence girl ever. she ran him like i dont know what. they worked together and had no children so they were literally together 24/7. he was the nicest guy ever. he really loved her and put up with so much,but he hung in there like a trooper. everyday she had to have pepsi. not just any ole pepsi. it had to be pepsi in a bottle(no cans!)purchased from a specific convenience store(they kept it the coldest). he had to transport it in a cooler and go to a specific dunkin donuts to get two 32 oz cups filled with their special crushed ice and place them in the cooler as well. there were specific instructions on how to pour the pepsi into the cups, but i dont remember them all and wont bore you with those details. you get the gist, right? super high maintence. the pepsi stuff is just the tip of the ice berg, but he did it. is it me or is there a pattern that repeats over and over amongst the majority of couples? really nice guy with demanding hag or super sweet girl with emotionally unavailable man. he once told me he liked the challenge of trying to please her. what? wondering if i ever break my dating hiatus if i should change everything up and just be a demanding be-otch and see what happens.

sexy?

is chastity sexy? can you be chaste and still be sexier than hell? i think so. i think there is something to setting boundaries and creatively exploring every inch of space within those limits. like the boys over at the bachelor pad talking about the sexiness of the first french kiss or the small of a girl's back....some may disagree, but i say that is true sexiness. a lingering kiss on the neck while pulling each other close....hot. strong hands stealing under your shirt to gently rub the small of your back(sorry for the plagiarism jake-you threw me down memory lane!)is so sexy. i know when i trust the boy i am kissing, so much more is given because i'm not worried about roaming hands or guarding bra clasps.

friends

i have never subscribed to the "lets be friends" theory of breaking up. its a cop out, usually meaning someone doesnt want to invest in a relationship,but isnt willing to do the dirty work of fully breaking up and moving on, keeping the person on stand by just in case. there are exceptions of course. maybe you just went on a few dates and realized IT just wasnt there, so you stop dating, but remain friendly. stuff like that. i dont get people who get divorced and say "we get along better now than when we were married". if you can manage to be friends, why couldnt you do it to save your marriage? when i invited mr soldier of fortune to leave our home and filed divorce papers, i knew i would never speak to him again. i was done. we didnt have children to keep us connected and he was a big jerk. a liar and a cheat. why would i invest anything in any sort of friendship with him? people still ask me how often i speak with my ex husband and seem surprised when i tell them never. i didnt even speak to him in court. he waited for me and tried to talk to me, but i acted as if he was invisible. mr ex man's latest ploy was to ask me to be his friend. "lets be friends and see if we can build our broken relationship back up". he got so mad when i refused. i saw it as a loop hole to keep contact, but not have to do the work of mending what was broken. i hated that he considered me deficient because i "couldnt" be friends. i could be friends. i chose not to. he wasnt friendly. he wasnt a friend to me in any way, shape, or form. in a nutshell, i think the "lets be friends" things is b.s.

OH MY GOSH!

it was one of my dearest friends birthday today and a group of us went to lunch to celebrate. we dont get together too often so the lunches turn into hours of talking and gallons of refills on our drinks. we all exchanged stories and caught up. one of my friends has a friend(lets call her wendy) through her church(not lds)that is always doing something outrageous and we always ask about her. todays story was INSANE. maybe when you read this you will say "single mormon chick, what is your problem? are you living under a rock of naivety? this stuff happens every day in the real world!" i am still shaking my head and trying to process this. its real. it really happened. this is not some made up story sent into penthouse by some lame guy who only dreams of such shennanigans. so heres the story: wendy has been separated from her husband for years, but both refuse to actually get a divorce. she mainly meets men through her work and has had many affairs. right now she is juggling 3 different men in various stages of "adult" relationships. one of these men is a cop. married. they had been "innocently" flirting for months. i guess she has dropped hints about where she lives and what goes on in her life. when he sees her last week he says he drove by her apartment complex, but didnt remember her apartment number. wendy gives it to him and he tells her he is coming by for breakfast the next day. she lets him know she gets home from dropping her 9 year old off at school by 730. before she takes the kid to school she pops a xanax chased with a vodka(7 am people!)and rushes home to change into some classy outfit she got at the local adult store. he knocks on the door, she opens it, grabs his hand and pulls him into her living room. then she pushes him up against the wall. he stops her and tells her "that wont be happening today". she is standing there thinking maybe she should have seriously made him breakfast. fried some eggs and cooked some bacon. as she is pondering this odd turn of events, he reaches down, hikes up her dress and starts running his hand up her thighs to... well you can imagine where to(have to keep this pg13)and she says "that wont be happening today". and he leaves! there she stands in her trashy outfit, vodka on her breath and buzzing from the xanax and NOTHING HAPPENED. all she is worried about is if she should have made him breakfast.

total bummer

mr boring, but nice was at church today. ALONE! my stomach sank. i was hoping the new girl friend was just late or couldnt make it for some reason. when i finally worked up the courage to ask him how she was, he just shrugged his shoulders. apparently she broke up with him because she thought he was moving too fast. i made sure to keep a two ass distance between us on the pew. watched my body language. didnt touch him one single time during our conversation.mentioned how i am on a total dating hiatus. during sunday school, i caught him really looking at me a couple of times. i completely ignored him hoping that he is just one of those people who stares and isnt thinking of asking me out. he is so nice. just sooooo not for me.

so aggrivated

i have been working on a post about the 2nd and final rm i ever dated. i was just about done with it when i lost so much content that i just threw my hands up in the air and said, "forget it!" it had good stuff about back scratching and ice cream dates. really romantic stuff that i didnt fully appreciate then. mormon matters asked me to post with them again, so thats on my mind too. sorry i dont have anything more exciting to say. feeling like a boring lump of nothing at the moment.