gifts

what would you do if an ex gave you a very expensive gift? mr nice guy gave me a very thoughtful, very needed gift for Christmas. my knee jerk reaction is send it back, but he insisted that i keep it. i dont think i have been in this situation since jr high when my 8th grade boyfriend tried to give me a "diamond" necklace. i knew it cost about 50 bucks because i had seen it at the store. a 50 dollar gift when you are in 8th grade(in 1982, no less)is huge. my parents made me return it. i dont feel a particular obligation to return mr nice guys gift, but considering my recent revelation that i am still in love with dick(of tom dick and harry), it seems weird.

good night nurse!

i need a nurse. pretty sick right now and i need to rebound to health asap! i hate being sick, but you all have heard me whine about that before, so i will abstain from doing it here on this post. in the past 2 days, mr ex man, mr nice guy, and mr random guy(dont think i ever mentioned him here) have contacted me. i wont talk to mr ex man. mr nice guy told me he was still madly in love with me, and mr random guy is moving forward at an incredibly slow pace that i hope he never tries to accelerate. i want dick(why did i come up with the whole tom dick and harry thing?). i am so embarrassed to admit it(not sure why), but i am frozen with fear and i am unable to contact him. do men get frozen with fear and choose to chicken out and not call when all they want to do is call the girl and get back together? i have reason to believe that he might be frozen with fear, but do i want to be the girl who does that work? am i living in a chick flick fantasy land where the man shows up on my doorstep in the rain and declares his love and tells me how he cannot live without me? probably. i am usually more sensible, but pining for a man for a year is new territory for me. any ideas? tips? advice?

Christmas granola

ok-so its really not "Christmas granola" per se. i just took the basic granola recipe i make every few weeks and threw in some dried cranberries and m&m's(green and red, of course)to add some holiday flair. 4 cups rolled oats 2 cups rice krispies 2 tsps cinnamon 1/2 cup honey 1 cup brown sugar 2/3 cup butter 1/2-3/4 12 oz bag of m&m's 1/2 6oz bag of dried cranberries nuts mix oats, cereal, and cinnamon together. heat honey, brown sugar and butter. stir until melted. pour over the oat mixture. spread on rimmed cookie sheet. bake at 250 for 10 minutes. stir, bake for another 10, stir and bake for a final 10 minutes. cool, the add candy, fruit, and nuts. stir. i added the better part of the bag of m&m's because i wanted the green and red to show through the cute glass jars i was giving it in. the cranberries add a little tart to balance the sweetness of this recipe combined with the m&m's(which i dont normally add to my every day granola) i left of the nuts.i dont care for them, but if you are a nutty type person, i would recommend slivered almonds or pecans. its a really good granola recipe on its own. i have it with yogurt in the summer and heat it with milk in the winter. makes a very yummy warm breakfast.

i am just wondering

there have been a handful of people on my facebook friends list that have had the dtr, are dating exclusively, engaged, or married. all of the women have updated their profile to reflect the new relationship status. with the exception of 1, NONE of the men have. could someone explain this to me?

more memories

a year ago dick told me he loved me. i had seen it coming for a while and at first i dreaded it. i didnt feel the same. i could tell that he liked me way more than i liked him, but 2-3 weeks before he actually told me, my feelings started to change. by time i knew that he was going to tell me that day, i knew i was in love with him and couldnt wait for him to declare it because i knew i could say it back without reservation. what changed my mind(heart)? a million things he didnt even know he was doing, but it all added up to l-o-v-e. i was hoping he was remembering this day as well and would reach out, but he didnt. can a person be sad, but not in emotional pain?

sometimes no news is good news...

but sometimes its just no news. i have very little to offer in the way of anything new and interesting. nothing planned for the holidays-thanksgiving is usually my favorite. i love to do all the cooking and hanging out with family and friends. this year, due to strange(but not bad)circumstances. there will be no thanksgiving for me. i am surprisingly ok with it. no boy news to report. i have zero desire to date right now. mr nice guy continues to call with appropriate(for 'friends')frequency. i know he loves me, but i dont feel the same. i truly want the best for him, but he seems incapable of making necessary changes to grow up and move on with his life. so sad to see a grown man so controlled by his mother. i keep thinking about dick(as in the tom, dick, and harry of last year)and really wishing i knew what really happened. women always want to know. they want the details in as vivid color as you can give them. even if its painful. this is a new place for me because the thoughts of him are not mournful or painful in any way, but it has affected my desire and willingness to "get out there". i am just not interested at all. which leads to another issue-my new calling involves some association with the churchs single adult program. when i was asked to do it, i literally laughed because i am famous for my disdain for the whole thing. i have been pleasantly surprised at how some of this has worked out. which is nice since all other experiences with the program have been epic failures. i hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving. :)

a memory

its a full moon tonight. i am usually pretty lazy about noticing those things, but it caught my attention today and brought a year old memory rushing back into my mind. about a year ago, dick was courting me and doing a mighty fine job of it if i remember correctly. he was out of town on business and we were at a point where our calls were no longer random, maybe i will pick up, maybe i wont type things. we were talking with increasing frequency and while i was still trying to keep him at arms length, i was liked talking to him more and more and looked forward to his calls. almost exactly a year ago he asked me on a moon date(it sounds so cheesy and coming from anyone else i would have dismissed it as such). i wasnt aware it was going to be a full moon and had no idea what he meant. he informed me of the full moon and since we couldnt be together, could he call and we could talk and enjoy the moon together? i can hear all of you groaning and i sense you rolling your eyes, but i am telling you....I LOVED IT and even though i just said something like "sure", i was quietly ecstatic about the simple romance of it all. i bundled up and when he called i went in the back yard to sit on the swing and looked up at the gorgeous moon sitting in the black sky while the realization that i was falling in love with him solidified in my mind and my heart. 2 weeks later he told me he was in love with me and without hesitation, i told him i loved him too.