getting better

due to circumstances almost completely within my control, i have rarely sat and watched conference live. i usually TRY , but generally fall back on tivo(love tivo)and watch bits and pieces throughout the upcoming weeks. yes. i said WEEKS. i am sure that i dont need to tell you that something gets lost by following this manner of watching conference. last october i was almost completely unable to participate in any of the "didnt you just love that talk by elder _____?" conversations. it bummed me out and i vowed to do better this conference. so far, so good. well...kind of. i havent watched any of saturdays, but i sat and watched this mornings session in its entirety. i always love to hear President Uchtdorf speak. He is always so uplifting. they all are really. so glad i watched. any favorite highlights you can share with me?

conference kick in the ass

our rs president has been driving home something President Monson said in the final session of conference. "your future is as bright as your faith". normally, this is the type of thing that would inspire me. really inspire me. just made me feel more angry. my faith isnt bright, but its making me think. putting the responsibility back on me. its rare, but this is a time that i am playing the victim. i dont want to be responsible for my broken heart. my circumstances. i can honestly say that nothing is a direct result of my own bad choices or bitter heart, but right now, i am not taking control. i dont feel empowered in the slightes. i want to be rescued. i hate that i am even saying it, but its true. spent a life time rescuing myself. want my knight to gallop up and save me. sigh.