experience

“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”
― Oscar Wilde

thoughts anyone?

if any of you have any personal revelation stories that they would like to share, i would love to hear them.
today has been a better day. my prayers and then scripture study were quite comforting-kind of like Heavenly Father was patting me on the back and telling me to hang in there.
have you ever met or heard someone who manufactures their own personal revelation? i dont mean burning bush type stories, but more along the lines of the guys who tell the girl they are dating that the Lord revealed to him that they are meant to get married. i have seen it a lot. as a kid, there was a divorced woman in our ward who got up to bear her testimony several different times to tell the congregation how she had received the confirmation that her current boyfriend was IT. i dont think she ever said eternal companion because she was sealed to the bastard who cheated on her while she was at home raising his 4 kids.
i dont want to be that girl. part of my prayers have always been for the truth and the power of discernment so that i dont confuse heartburn with a burning in my bosom from the Holy Ghost.
thats part of the issue with my recent experiences. did i make this up or is this a test of my faith?
please weigh in-if you dont want my millions(snort, ha, yeah right)of readers to know your identity, please post as anonymous as opposed to not posting at all. i would so appreciate the feedback.


addendum: part of the reason i feel on such shaky ground with this revelation stuff is that i had a confirmation with msof and mr ex man. i prayed really hard on both of them and with msof, i felt really good about my decision to marry him. got the thumbs up from the bishop and the majority of my family. even those that were more reserved about it, werent totally opposed. with mr ex man i wanted to be really careful and really sure. i was so excited and happy with him i did not want impose my feelings in the process of asking Heavenly Father what i should do. msof was over 20 years ago and the memories have faded, but with mr ex man I KNOW that i prayed "thy will be done" every single time. i even prayed that i would walk away if that was the right thing to do. can you see why i am gun shy with all this?

personal revelation

i think i need a tune up. things have been misfiring for so long i wonder if i would recognize if it was right.i start with the best of intentions, do a lot of praying, throw in the scripture study, step up the temple attendance all in an effort to be spiritually ready for the answers i am seeking. sounds about right, doesnt it?


a few months ago something started nagging at me. i just tried to dismiss it, but it wouldnt go away. i started praying about it, letting Heavenly Father know that i didnt want these thoughts in my head, i wanted them to go away. they didnt go away. so i started asking why in my prayers. why was this happening? i hadnt had these thoughts in months and months. i thought they were gone for good. additional thoughts kept coming to me. they were new thoughts, things i hadnt considered before.

was this my mind opening up? i kept praying and then i attended a fireside where the speaker was talking about scripture study. the thing that stood out to me was something he mentioned about dedicating scripture study for a specific purpose and to pray before, during, and after the study for the Lord to reveal what he wants you to know about the subject because we all know that when we want to talk to Heavenly Father we pray and when we want him to speak to us, we read the scriptures.

i have always been a lazy scripture reader, but this change of perspective really transformed my scripture reading. things were jumping off the page. stuff was making sense. i kept praying about these nagging thoughts. answers really seemed to be coming to me. very specific answers that were exciting. real things started happening that were very specific answers to my prayers. this was getting good.

i felt a peace that i hadnt known before regarding these thoughts. i felt confident that Heavenly Father was going to bring some pretty exciting things to pass.

then some stuff started happening. kind of icky stuff. did this negate my personal revelation? it all got ickier. i started to doubt(never a good thing). then i started to think it was a test. then i thought the adversary was doing a number on me. i prayed harder trying to demonstrate my faith in what Heavenly Father had already revealed to me.

for two weeks it has been so weird. i am still praying. still going to the temple. still reading the scriptures with a singular purpose, but things arent going right. what did i do wrong? am i just crazy? is it one of those tests where you just have to jump through the hoops for the sake of jumping through the hoops just to be obedient and the rewards will be given in the next life? i have had a lot of those. we all do, part of the mortal gig, i suppose, but i have to say i am worn out by it. its happened to me a lot. i would like some obvious miracles where these thoughts are concerned.
i am just pissed off. not very conducive to personal revelation, but i just dont seem to have the knack for it.

in the spirit of superstition, i am cosmically knocking on wood by saying that i am blessed. i have had prayers answered. miracles have occurred in my life. i am not as job, but i would really like these prayers to be answered and not be disappointed or learn a lesson. i know. selfish. immature. waaaaaaaah!

i just dont know

went on a singles temple trip. met someone. very nice. felt a good vibe, but i just dont know. he seemed different than your typical sa activity guy. no schmoozing. it might have been "interested" in me, but i just dont know. turns out he knows our eq president. they went to school together and did some electrical work on his house. ran into eqp's wife a few days later and while we were chatting she said something about their house that made me remember the guy from the temple, so i mentioned him to her. she went ON AND ON about how great he is. then asked "do you want us to set you up with him?" i just dont know.
i have NEVER been on a blind date or a set up. ever.

smc beauty - covergirl simply ageless

“Embrace the beauty of 'you.' Once you've done that, you're ready to start playing with the power of makeup to transform yourself into anything you want to be.”
Scott Barnes

i got a free sample of the covergirl/olay simply ageless line and i love it! i havent used covergirl for years, opting for more expensive and newer brands, but i am using covergirl again and it might just be a permanent change.
the collection includes foundation, corrector(concealer), eye corrector, and blush. i love every one of these products. they glide on and create a flawless finish. the eye corrector doubles as a primer(my own discovery)and makes eye shadow last without creasing the whole day. the corrector has a yellow base which corrects dark circles-i will take that one on faith-i dont have dark circle to correct, but the yellow pigment corrects any of that annoying redness around the corners of my nose and any blemishes that pop up.
i wouldnt have picked out the color of blush that was given to me,but it was a free sample, so i didnt complain. i just tried it and it was amazing. it added such a beautiful tone to my skin and i have received quite a few compliments on how pretty i have been looking lately. NEVER a bad thing.
since all of these items are formulated with olay regenerist serum-they glide on beautifully and dont sink into any fine lines or wrinkles-it "suspends" over them, restoring tone and texture for a more youthful appearance. i am quoting from the brochure they gave me, but i have found their claims to be true.
the price is pretty amazing too-just 10.00-13.99 depending on what you buy. smoking deal considering the price of make up!

i couldnt resist

i love barry and when i wrote "somewhere down the road" in my previous post,it got me remembering this song and i have been singing it ever since. i opted for this live version because the other was cheesy stock photos with the lyrics photo shopped over. i like the studio version of the song better, but you just have to see the real deal.

mr southern gentleman

i dont think about this guy much any more, but when i do, it always brings a big smile to my face.
i met him at work and he promptly moved to north carolina. he was originally from the south and he had this delicious southern drawl. just thinking about it right now makes me smile.
we carried our relationship out entirely over the phone so i fell in love with him hearing his voice and that wonderful accent.
he used all the adorable southern vernacular like "cut out the light" instead of turn off the lights." or "i am going to carry my mother to the store." instead of i am taking my mother to the store or i am driving my mother to the store. southern men love their mothers-its one of the things i loved about him. he was very respectful and considerate of his mom.
when i had a cough he would say "baby, go drink you some water." the man was a college graduate, he had a wonderful way of speaking and generally used correct grammar. it wasnt an error, thats just how it was said.
one of my favorite things he ever said to me was "baby, you are cooler than the other side of the pillow." :D
i had never heard that saying before, but when he said it, i had no doubt what it meant. havent we all spent summer nights flipping our pillows over to sink our tired heads into the cool comfort of the other side of the pillow? sigh.
he was the first man i fell in love with after my divorce. maybe i will write a post about that relationship somewhere down the road(now i have barry manilow singing in my head), but for now, with summer right around the corner and the weather heating up, i just wanted to tell you how some sweet boy thought i was cooler than the other side of the pillow.