what do guys REALLY want?

seriously. be honest. tell me, please!


this is what i think guys want:


1. sex. they want lots of sex. multiple times a day is preferable, but will settle for daily.

2. looks. they want a pretty girl. some things are standard, but the requirements can vary from man to man.

2a. body. they dont want a twig or an extrememly fat girl. there are exceptions to this of course. i know of some men who really like skinny, skinny girls and there are men who like girls with some junk in the trunk.

3. maternal instinct. they want someone who can be a good mother/stepmother/grandmother

4. homemaker. they want a girl with homemaking skills. cook, clean, maybe sew. guys want a girl who will feather the nest and make a house a home.

5. admiration and respect. men like to be praised. they want to know their girl thinks they are the best. they need to hear it a lot. they are the toughest, strongest, smartest, sexiest...you know the drill.

mr jack mormon used to quote chris rock: " a man wants only 3 things. food, sex, and silence."

so tell me. am i even close? i really want to hear what you guys have to say.

p.s. i would hope temple worthy and a testimony would be on the list, but it really doesnt seem to matter all that much to the men in my own dating experience and what i see of others experiences.

birth control

what would a law of chastity abiding girl like myself need birth control for? i use the best kind: abstinence! lol. i know if there are any liberal readers of this blog, they are rolling their eyes and hotly dismissing me as a prudish religious zealot. definitely not the case, but thats not my point of writing this post.
a dear(non member)friend who has none of the religious "sexual hangups" that i do was the lone voice of reason in a group of women who were discussing buying birth control for their teenage children. my friend asked for my opinion and this is what i told her:

i would hope that parents would be educating their kids along the way-instilling the family values from the beginning so when the kid gets to be a horny teenager you will either have enough clout to convince them not to have sex(if thats what your family values dictate)or they will trust you enough to tell you they are going to have sex & need some guidance on how to be safe. i dont think people should throw a box of condoms or a diaphragm at their kids and say "just be safe". i think there needs to be continuing education,but allowing them access to appropriate birth control seems much more favorable than an unwanted pregnancy and very adult responsibilities for kids whose brains havent even fully formed yet. not to mention stds. good grief. dont even get me started on that.

from what my friend told me, i guess its "cool" to be a parent that is open about allowing their kids to have sex and providing the birth control. i personally find this ridiculous.
any thoughts? even "good" mormon kids have sex-what are the parents out there doing? do you think you are successful at promoting religious based abstinence or are you all hiding your heads in the sand and just hope your kids dont get "caught" with a pregnancy or std?

bing bang boom

WARNING: MILDLY CRUDE LANGUAGE AHEAD. IF MY MOTHER KNEW I WROTE THIS BLOG, I WOULDNT LET HER READ THIS POST!
im just telling ya.
some of my more worldly friends would roll their eyes that i even feel it necessary to warn those with more delicate sensibilities. its not like i am writing into penthouse, but i probably wouldnt share this story in relief society. not probably. i wouldnt.
for anyone new to my blog, i want to just catch you up. i am a "good" girl. i was a virgin when i got married. oh sure, i made out like crazy, but there was no petting, heavy or otherwise. it seemed to make more sense when i was a 20 year old bride. not so much as a 40- something divorcee. buuuuuuttttt...right is right. right?
msof(my ex husband. see dance card at the end of the blog)was NOT romantic, but he made a few efforts. i didnt mind all that much. like most girls, i like gestures. a few grand ones, but the small ones count as well. unlike a lot of girls(the ones i know and have talked to anyway)i did not require a lot of candles and flower petals strewn on the bed. love was certainly a requirement for good sex, but it didnt have to be all soft focus and "lub makin". a good old fashioned quickie was often just what the doctor ordered.
many of my friends complained about the quickie. i think its the most under appreciated form of sex. its fun. it can be satisfying and it only takes a few minutes. what could be better? in general, i think men would probably be totally satisfied with only quickies, but if they want their wives to enjoy them, they need to make sure their wives are satisfied-meaning they get the appropriate amounts(varies for each woman) of candles and soft focus plus the attention to her as a person.
i hear when men say that getting their wives in "the mood" can be an exhausting endeavor and i think sometimes they are right, but what i am suggesting is that with a little maintenance your wife will be more open to the more 'wild' sex. like the quickie.
this mad about you clip is a funny example of how we can get confused over what we think our spouse wants. we dont always need the bing and the bang. just give us the boom. sometimes. we still like the bing and the bang.
im just sayin.

i get it

when life is dealing the bad hands it deals sometimes, it is not uncommon that couples turn to each other and use sex as a major stress reliever and a way to further cement their bond and commitment during difficult times.
what about those of us without the benefit of that special someone? CASUAL, RANDOM SEX WITH VIRTUAL STRANGERS!! i always stood in haughty judgment of such behavior, but not anymore. i get it. i wont do it, but I GET IT. i get why people turn to drugs and alcohol to ease and temporarily erase the pain they are feeling. heck, i want a drink right now.
does drinking and casual sex solve anything? does it cure cancer? nope, but for a few hours(if you are lucky)you can forget.
right now i just want to crawl into bed and feel someone next to me. hear them breathe and feel that amazing skin to skin contact.
sometimes flirting is my drug of choice. it can make me forget for a while, but i am resisting the urge to contact old stand by guys. it will lead me places i dont want to be and despite the fact that flirting does not break the law of chastity, it would ultimately leave me feeling empty inside.

friends

i totally agree. unless they are gay, men are not interested in a friendship that they dont think will end up in bed. the sex "thing" is always "out there".
with the exception of tgws(tall guy with sunglasses, my first real boyfriend)i have chosen not to be friends with any of my ex's . it took me and tgws over 20 years to get to the point where we can put all the nastiness behind us and be friendly. we actually just had a lengthy facebook im session the other night. its weird, but good. glad its gotten to that point, but its fairly obvious that he is interested in trying to renew a romantic relationship. i know it will never work. he is so very anti-religion and is very cynical of my activity in church. funny how he used to be the guy who came to church with me every sunday just to be with me.

crammin before the famine

a little back story: just like every other part of the country, the area i live in has been hit by the economic crisis. so many people in my ward have been laid off. a lot of them owned their own businesses such as carpet cleaning, pest control, or landscaping and just could not keep their heads above water, so they joined the millions looking for work. one elder in our ward decided to join the military. i think its a little unusual for a 30-something guy with a wife and 4 kids to enlist, but it could make sense too. regular, dependable paycheck, great medical coverage, and travel benefits. ANYWAY...they had called our rs president and arranged for her to stop by to drop off some paperwork. when she got there and rang the bell, no one answered. she waited a few minutes and rang the door bell again, but still no answer. it seemed odd since they had made the arrangements earlier that day, but she put the envelope under the mat and went on her way. within the hour, she got a call from the sister, apologizing profusely for not answering the door. our rs president told her not to worry about it and to look under the door mat for the envelope. the sister kept apologizing and then said, "hes been so frisky lately, you know.....crammin before the famine." this sister is not a particularly prudish woman, but to think she felt the need to explain that her husband was trying to get in as much sex as he possibly could before he left for basic training was hilarious to me. sweet, but still hilarious.
ps-who says "frisky" anymore?
pps-guess thats better than telling your rs president your husband is "horny".

teaching in relief society

how is this for irony? the single chick gets to teach a lesson about sexual fulfillment in relief society yesterday. ha! it actually went well. got lots of compliments. even the bishops wife made positive comments to the relief society president. it was direct, no holds barred. i actually said the word "sex". can you believe that? everyone was very receptive. the comments kept coming and the whole lesson flowed. i am disappointed that i didnt get to half of what i prepared, but i really feel that the spirit led the discussion where it needed to go. we have one loose cannon sister that we PRAYED would not give TMI, but she was great. she even gave this great comment with a super smart analogy. whew. i had anxiety over that lesson for 2 weeks. prayed dilligently. prayers are answered.