numbers game

if the average lds person gets married at...lets say 22(being a tad generous here) and and if they started dating at 16, you could say that the average lds person is only single and dating for 6 years.
i have been divorced for over 10 years in addition to the 4 years of dating prior to my marriage at 20.
this thought occurred to me the other day and i found it very interesting. fourteen plus years compared to an average of 6.
just saying.

done deal

my dating profile is up on one of the lds dating sites. i feel slightly nauseous. i am really trying to get to why this is making me so nervous. is it like a dance-afraid no one will ask the tall, non- blonde? is it because the last time i had a profile listed, i met and fell in love with mr ex man and we all know how that turned out?
even the pictures that i loved so much seem kind of icky to me. like somehow i morphed into an unattractive beast.
is it just me? am i being silly? do men go through this anxiety?
i am sure i will calm down. its just the initial step back into the abyss.
i hate feeling this way. kind of foriegn-i am ok in just about any other social situation. more than ok, but this is just DIFFICULT.

does this apply to dating?

“If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down.”
― Mary Pickford

hatin

i hated yesterdays post so much that i considered just deleting it, but i decided to let it stay. for now. i always intended this blog to be fun anecdotes about being a cool, 40-something mormon chick, living life, maneuvering the dating world with some grace and a little panache. WHATEVER. those terms are mutually exclusive with the word(and practice)dating. its so not fun right now and i find myself disappointed and pissed off much of the time. i just keep wondering if i really need the aggravation of all of this. all this drama with mr jack mormon is wearing me out. despite my best effort to just exit with some grace(that damn word again)it has turned to the ridiculous. i am convinced that dating, like trix is for kids, they are the only ones who can withstand the indignity of it.
bitter, party of one!