how do you survive this?

a dear friend of mine is suffering. he is suffering with probably the biggest humiliation of his life. horribly mortified. let me tell you the story.
he is a grown man, late 40's, with 5 teenagers. 4 boys and a girl. the girl is the oldest at 18 years old. she is a nice girl, beautiful, but doesnt date. she is focused on school and her parents(now amicable after a nasty divorce 10 years ago)speculate that their divorce made her leery of getting involved in any romantic entanglements.
my friend has dated quite a bit in the last 10 years. he has had a few relationships and two short lived engagements. from what i can piece together, it seems like it was always something with the kids that ran the relationship off the tracks.
about 8 months ago he met the love of his life. i can tell just by the way he talks about her that she is THE ONE. i am envious of the relationship he describes with her. it sounds truly amazing.
they have had their ups and downs. a good portion of their relationship has been long distance. they talk regularly, but like we all do, rely on email and text messaging for communication.
just recently, they were flirting big time via text. it started going into rated r territory when by some bizarre cell phone catastrophe he sent a naughty message intended for his soul mate to his 18 year old daughter.
yes folks. his pg-13(ok maybe r)fantasy was transmitted to his young daughter. he is mortified. we spoke briefly and he is shock, so embarrassed, and inconsolable.
from what he tells me, his daughter is judging him pretty harshly.
i agree that this was a mistake. he and his girlfriend should have never allowed their texting to go that far, but as embarrassing as it might be, he is an adult, and to me, he should apologize to his daughter for the mistake, but explain that its none of her business.
am i crazy?
ps-all the people involved in this story are lds. active. my friend and his girlfriend have temple recommends.
pps-he sent me the text so i could see exactly what it said-it was mainly kissing stuff(the silly stuff we say to each other when we are in love)-which would be embarrassing to any kid- but at the end there was a reference to untying a bathing suit top. should he be burned at the stake? i am thinking no, but...

what i woke up to

the last memory i have of this song is being at an institute dance with rm#2 and we danced to this song. i am sure i have heard it since 1986, but i dont remember. i dont usually wake up to songs playing in my head, but today...
i guess its not too shocking of a selection for my subconscious to play considering all the recent negotiations with mr jack mormon. some of the things he suggested were kind of funny. tempting, but funny considering the discussions we have had regarding boundaries. mine, not his. apparently he doesnt have any.

if faith is not tested, is it really faith? my faith and testimony in the law of chastity has been tested in many ways, but all the talk with mr jack mormon really got me thinking along the lines of "what does it really matter?" an intellectually sound argument could really be made for turning away from such archaic practices and embracing a more modern way of thinking. i was discussing all of this with a long time, non member friend. she put a fine point on the whole discussion when she asked, "do you want to marry this guy?" she knows me well and got me back on track with my true self. mr jack mormon is not a candidate for a long term relationship, so why throw it all away on him? even if i was a sex before marriage kind of girl, i would never be a casual sex girl. just not my style.

before leaving for church today, i need to choose a conference talk for a lesson in relief society. thumbing through the pages, the first talk that caught my attention was Elder Oaks talk titled "Love and Law". The first examples he gives are about the loc(referring to a couple who co-habitates)and temple marriage. i am grateful for a speedy answer to my prayers last night. the loc might not be modern or cool, but its still Heavenly Father's law and there are blessings for keeping it, consequences for breaking it, and finally the atonement to help us in either instance.

whats your number?

no-i'm not talking about the 10 digits needed to get you on the phone. i am talking about the number of "experiences" you have had. being the serial monogamist i am, my number seems embarrassingly low. even for a law of chastity abiding girl like myself. 12. i have kissed 12 boys my entire life. and thats a reach. a couple of them i wasnt even sure if i should count them. tgws was my first kiss ever. it was clumsy and sloppy, but amazing because we loved each other so much. we had a lot of practice ahead of us and we definitely got better. tony, the guy i went to my junior prom with. super nice boyfriend and i know we kissed,but there is nothing memorable or remarkable to report there. christopher, my senior prom date. again, i know we kissed, but dont remember much about it-although i kind of had a "harper moment". i knew he wanted to kiss me, but i wasnt ready so i asked him not to. actually, i told him not to. there was no asking. after high school there was paul, but we probably only kissed a handful of times in the few months we dated. i have mentioned the forgotten rm in a previous post-his kissing was fine, but nothing earth shattering. right before msof showed up on the scene, there was mark, a boy who was ten years older than me. i say boy because he really was a man-child. i was 19, he was 29 and i had a ton of maturity on him. we kissed a few times, but he really took the completely uninvited role of experienced sexual guide way too seriously. he was the first to ever attempt to sway me from my beliefs with an intellectual argument. he actually said "you wouldnt buy a car without taking it for a test drive, would you?" i think i laughed in his face. i was still technically dating him when msof came knocking on my door. i kind of just stopped calling him. he wasnt happy, but i was oblivious in my own happiness. besides being the man i married and my only sexual experience, msof stood out in two other ways. he is the only man i kissed on the first date and the only one i initiated the kiss. we were good from the start- there was a ton of passion and we really had to reign things in a few times. once we were engaged, i almost slipped in to complacency, but HE put the brakes on and saved me some major anguish. kissing on the first date happens a lot more often now. probably because i am in my 40's and i dont want to waste a bunch of time only to find out he is a horrible kisser. so------12. it would have been 13 if mr jack mormon wasnt such a freakin sissy.

virgin?

the boys over at the mormon bachelor pad posed the question about whether you could consider yourself a virgin if you participate in oral sex. without a doubt participating in oral sex violates the law of chastity for both men and women, but i think it breaks down differently for girls and boys. if a girl allowed oral sex to be performed on her she is definitely acting in an immoral way, but still a virgin until she has actual intercourse. a boy, on the other hand, whether its traditional sex or oral sex, very similar things are happening to him and i dont think he could be considered a virgin any longer. is that sexist?

more sex and the good mormon girl

i sincerely intended to write more on yesterday's entry regarding sex. its on everyones mind. i went out with one man who told me he agreed with the law of chastity "in theory",but thought the church should alter its stance for divorced persons since they were previously sexually active. i personally think that is crazy. i understand why he is saying it. kind of. comitting to a celibate lifestyle after living a sexually active one is difficult. i just dont think that single members of the church(in general)try hard enough.i am not talking about living like a nun or some monk,but PEOPLE can we keep it zipped up? i need to do some research and post the actual statistics, but we KNOW that jumping into sex too fast is a BAD thing. it creates issues, none of which are good. i remember reading a study several years ago making the argument that pre-marital sex and co-habitation does not improve the odds for a successful marriage. quite the opposite. divorce rates are actually higher for couples who have lived together before marriage. i digress. i do that. ramble. get off on tangents. anyway. i think there are blessings to be had for following the law of chastity. its not always easy and certainly explaining to your dates(even the active members)can be a nightmare. i hate the fact that even members look at you like you are a freak because you havent had sex in 10 years. sigh. during my time on the lds dating site i could just sense them clicking back on my picture, thinking that i must have posted a phony shot or a very old one at the very least because the reason i am not having sex MUST be because i dont get offers due to unfortunate looks or something.