damn mirror

i am not loving what i see. i need a haircut. something drastic. my hair is pretty long-well past my shoulders-but it is not really doing anything i want it to do. i have been thinking of cutting about 10 inches off, which would put it right above my shoulders(found a cute cut that i am pretty sure will look good on me). i am embarrassed to admit that i worry that not having long hair will compromise how attractive i might appear to certain men. men like long hair, right? i think i might be tainted because of msof. he would get angry if i even trimmed my hair. he wanted it long, long, long and he did not care if it was unhealthy looking. anything above the shoulders was a "dyke-do". i know a few men who say they dont care about hair length, but those guys are married to women with short hair. i dont know if i have ever heard a man say that he liked or preferred short hair. so guys-what do you say? long or short? do you care?

well?

mr new guy and i have definitely hit the friend zone. its fine with me. i really dont think i could ever get over the disney crocs. like most women, i really enjoy dressing the man i love, but making over a man who wears disney themed crocs is just too much for any woman. when i met tgws, he still wore corduroy bell bottoms. I AM NOT KIDDING. i thought he was lying when he said they were still in fashion where he came from, but then he showed me his most recent yearbook. sure enough THEY WERE ALL WEARING CORDUROY BELL BOTTOMS. in 1983. seriously. oh yeah, i forgot the velor shirts. so we went shopping and he started dressing like a respectable 80's teenager: levi's 501's and polo shirts. it was revolutionary. msof did ok, but i did some fine tuning. and though i think i would be up to the challenge of making over mr new guy....i just dont wanna put in the effort. not that he would let me. he is definitely the kind of guy who would dig his heels in and refuse to change just because he thought someone wanted him to. who needs that? i havent heard from mr nice guy since we talked a few days ago. he is madly in love with me, wants to be with me, broke up with a girl because he didnt love her like he loves me....yet...YET he will change nothing. i am not surprised and i dont even care because the truth is, i am still in love with dick.

not sure what to say...

besides mr nice guy telling me he was still in love with me...(not just love MADLY in love), there is really nothing going on. i have recently come back to some of the sewing and crafting that i used to love so much. my creativity comes in spurts and i try to take advantage of it. as far as men, i am kind of fed up. single men in the church are a hot mess and i just dont feel like dealing with it. no more dances, socials, or firesides. i just dont wanna do it. sure, if i know of some amazing speaker at a fireside, i will go, but i am completely doing away with my new years resolution to become more involved. i am benched. benching myself and i dont even care. i would chalk it up to the weather, maybe some early onset S.A.D.D, but fall is my favorite time of year. i think its just the circumstances and my general failure in the relationship area. this isnt depression-its resolution.

man oh man

you know my new friend? mr nice guy? yeah, thats him. he told me today that he is still in love with me. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH THAT?!