Wednesday, June 30, 2010

the alchemist

i just finished reading "the alchemist" by paulo coehlo. i had heard of it before, but it really didnt interest me until i heard someone else talk about it and give a little more information that intrigued me. it seemed like the book was about personal revelation and we all know how i struggle with that.
i really dont know what to say about this book. its odd. at first i thought the author might be lds because he seemed to be talking about tithing at the beginning of the book and then he mentioned the urim and thummim. i am almost embarrassed to admit this, but until i read this book i had no idea that the urim and thummim had been used before joseph smith. seriously. i just thought it was something the Lord gave to him alone. i guess that shows you how well read in the Old Testament i am. i even mentioned it to a jewish friend and she knew exactly what i was talking about. shame is my middle name.
SPOILER ALERT! if you plan on reading this book and dont want the end revealed to you, read no further.
the ending kind of irritated me. this poor shepherd kid went through a lot to find his treasure only to be lead right back to where he started. then he had to dig for quite a while to get to his literal buried treasure. everything was so symbolic and vague, but at the end, he dug under a tree where he used to sleep with his sheep and found a chest with gold and jewels in it. nice.
so now i have to follow my freakin personal legend. like i need something else to do.

face lift

no. i didnt get one. i am talking about the new look of my blog. whadda think?
i guess blogger has gotten some new designers and when you log in, they kind of prompt you to look at the new templates. i like this one, but there were a few that looked good, so i might be changing it and trying new looks on to see how i like it.
i havent gotten to sleep before 3 am for the past 2 nights and its catching up to me BIG TIME.
of course its a day that i have a ton to do and i actually need to think straight and have at least a little energy.
i have noticed in the last 2 or 3 years my sleeping habits and patterns have totally changed. i am not the night owl i used to be and i can no longer sleep in past 6 am. makes me feel OLD.
i remember my grandparents nodding off after dinner while watch tv and finally turning in by 8, only to be up before the sun. i am not quite that bad, but its getting there.
i need to get on some of these projects that are waiting for me, then work in a power nap. yes, i said it. power nap. at times like these, the 20-40 min snooze(not a minute longer or i am in BIG trouble)saves my life.
i was surprised to see how long it has been since i posted last. i know this is rambling and probably quite boring, but i wanted to put something out there. i am working on a few posts, but they havent quite come together the way i would like them to.
i hope everyone is enjoying their summer. summer is not my favorite season. i wilt in the high temps. i burn easily and have to wear spf 4 million if i am going to be out in the sun for more that 5 minutes. i do love the water-pools, lakes, and rivers are some of my favorite things. quite a little contradiction there, but thats me. one really tall, brunette, contradiction.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

praying for a miracle

i looked pretty cute last sunday. i got this new blouse(five bucks on the clearance rack. hey, i am not seriously so blessed, i am not ashamed)that matched one of my skirts perfectly and i got a ton of compliments. best five bucks i have ever spent.
my ward holds gospel doctrine class in the cultural hall. i am often in and out for various reasons, so i normally stand in the back against the stage.
sitting in a folding chair was one of the older men in our ward. the lesson had already started, but he motioned for me to lean over. as he shook my hand he whispered in my ear, "why havent we found a good man for you?"
i need to make an aside here: this man once gave a 20 minute speech in a bishopric meeting(so glad i was there for it)about how we need to "get a good and attentive man on every single sister in the church." it was hilarious. he is 70 years old and before he joined the church(he spent 10 years attending, paying tithing and fast offerings, and studying before he actually consented to baptized) he was a baptist preacher. now he preaches the true gospel, but still has that baptist flair.
i made some joke about giving up and he responded with "there has got to be a good man out there. pray for a miracle."
i love this guy and even though he thinks that it will take a miracle to "get an attentive man" on me, i found this funny. coming from just about anyone else, i would have shredded them on the spot with some sharp words.
i think he appreciated how cute i looked(like a grandpa would)and was wondering out loud how someone as cute and nice as me could possibly be without a man.
i wonder myself sometimes.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

is 18 years too big of an age difference?

i am old enough to be his mother. technically.
hes in provo, i am not. i am sure there are soooooo many other factors(like never having seen each other in person,etc.)of how this would definitely NOT work out, but i just have to say, i love this man. based on this post alone.

check it out.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

playing the odds

ever since i went on that sa temple night a few weeks ago, i got a few new friends on facebook. with these friends i get to see stuff and get lots of information about lots of different people.
for example-the girl who was "just friends" with that nice man i told you about? she wasnt kidding. she just updated her profile to "in a relationship" with some guy she never even mentioned that night. we heard about all 3 of her ex husbands-the most recent of which she hasnt even had out of her house for six months-and a few other guys, but no mention of the man she is now so entwined with that she updates her relationship status.
am i the weird one or is this odd behavior?
i now get to see pictures of the different sa events that people post on facebook. i swear, i am not a prude, but these activities look like keg parties from high school. just add a mid life paunch and crow's feet.
it makes me sad. they look like they are having fun, but it all seems so shallow and base.
i know i am risking sounding so very judgmental, but i just cant see how any successful relationship could ever be cultivated in an environment like that.
the turnout for water skiing and bbq's is overwhelming, but the temple night attendance is pathetic.
what do i expect? well...i do expect some of that shallow stuff, but i certainly hoped there would be more balance. people like me, who are flawed, but trying. looking for another flawed, but good person.
as i often do, i ramble and get off on tangents. i labeled this post "playing the odds" because i was thinking about these women who have had multiple marriages to my one, that no sooner get divorced and they are in a relationship again. are they smarter, prettier, more spiritual, or sexier than me? i dont think so. i think the odds are in their favor because they KEEP GOING. keep going to singles stuff, dancing, water skiing, pool parties, and whatever else they do. i just dont. maybe i am wrong, but it just seems like so many are just settling for mediocre. sometimes the mediocre turns so very scary and then all of a sudden you have 4 divorces under your belt. one woman made the comment that she would rather be divorced 4 times rather than have pre marital sex. are those the only two options?
just thinking about this is depressing me.

Monday, June 21, 2010

cooking with smc-a summer treat

i dont know who comes up with these ideas. did someone look into their fridge and see a container of cottage cheese and then look in the freezer and see a container of cool whip and think, "mmmm what kind of dessert could i make with this?
maybe i just dont have a mind that works that way, but let me tell you, i am glad someone does because they came up with the idea to add jello and pineapple and you get this delicious summer time salad that is perfect for a picnic or bbq.
i had it for the first time many years ago at a friends house-i asked for the recipe and this is what she told me:
dump a container of cottage cheese into a bowl. sprinkle orange jello over it and stir. drain a can of crushed pineapple and stir into the cottage cheese/jello mixture. stir in the cool whip and allow to chill in the refrigerator for an hour or two.
i had already eaten this salad when she told me the recipe-otherwise i would have just thought it sounded really gross. trust me, it is delcious. i am sure you could use any flavor of jello you wanted, but i love the orange. the pineapple adds a sweetness, but you really dont get an overwhelming flavor. it really tastes like a 50/50 bar or dreamsicle. yummy.
here is a more traditional version of the recipe:
1 16oz carton of cottage cheese
1 8oz carton of cool whip
1 20 oz can of pineapple, crushed or tidbits
1 box(regular size, i think its 3oz)of orange jello.
scoop cottage cheese into a large bowl. sprinkle jello into bowl and mix well. drain the pineapple and add to bowl and mix. spoon the cool whip into and mix until just combined. chill for at least 2 hours.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

i am immortal

not really, but duncan mccloud of the clan mccloud is.

i am giggling just thinking about it. i was scrolling through netflix's watch instantly selections when the tv series highlander popped up.

msof loved this show. it came on every week, late on sunday nights and he insisted on watching it. i hated it. i complained every week and tried to persuade him to watch something else. i never convinced him, but i would spend the entire time criticizing the acting and the stupid story lines.

then i started loving it. i looked forward to it every week, but i would not let on to msof. no way. he would never let me live it down.

when he caught me singing along to the theme song, i was sunk. he never let me forget how i complained about the show, but ended up loving it so much i would sing along with queen every week.

i consider it a long lost guilty pleasure. the whole concept is ridiculous and all the actors are horrible.

watching it for the first time in about 15 years has not improved their acting or the lame story lines, but i still find it oddly interesting.

as a side note- i realize the above queen video has christopher lambert from the movie the show is based on. i picked it because i like the band footage better. i just wanted to mention that in case a highlander purist calls me out on it.


Saturday, June 19, 2010


say you are wearing a sexy white bikini top. really sexy, lots and lots of dd clevage, but you are wearing knee length board shorts, but those board shorts have such a low rise that you can judge for an almost certainty when the last bikini wax was done.
its not my intention to get all judge-y judge-y here, but i just saw a ton of pix from a sa activity at the lake. one girl was wearing a 1 piece swimsuit, but every other girl was wearing a bikini. there were some shots taken that seem to duplicate some beer advertising posters i have seen.
tell me what you think. do we play fast and loose with modesty? does throwing a pair of board shorts on or a sheer cover up make a completely immodest bathing suit modest? does it matter? am i being a prude?

random smc-ness

hotel california was the first song i ever memorized and i can still sing it(off key) in its entirety.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

my parcel

ever since i read committed, i have been thinking a lot about that gem parcel analogy, wondering what my brilliant, perfect gems are and what my crap stones are.
i, as everyone else, like to put my best foot forward, so itemizing my faults is somewhat depressing, but claiming my brilliant glittery gems is even harder.
so here is some(i am sure there is crap i am not even aware of or willing to face at this point in my life)of the crap the makes me...well ME:
1. i am shy. no one believes this because i tend to over compensate, but it can be occasionally debilitating.
2. sometimes(i know its exaggerated in my mind, but it does exist)the overcompensation gets out of hand. i can be a little too irreverent and boisterous. i have been known to say wildly inappropriate things and have embarrassed myself a few times.
3.i am an annoying contradiction. i am a "good" lds girl. seriously. BUT there are things about me that make this confusing. my willingness to have an open discussion about sex. i can be extremely flirty. i have been known to drop an f-bomb here and there. my love of heavy metal and going to those concerts seems to confuse guys who see me sitting in church every sunday. because of my wide and varying circle of friends, i KNOW things. not only do i know them, but i am willing to admit my knowledge(not personal experience see the above "good" lds girl)of pot smoking culture and swingers clubs(amongst other things).
4.i act tough, but, i am just a girl, standing in front of a boy...sorry. just channeling notting hill-i just couldnt resist. :)
i do act tough and some of it is legit, but it can also operate as a cover for feelings of inadequacy and a longing to belong to someone who really loves me(despite my crap)and i love them equally in return.
5.i am a horrible procrastinator. i mean bad. even silly stuff like brushing my teeth at night, i will put off until the last minute. its ridiculous-i mean, i wont be eating anything else for the night-why not just brush my teeth now? nope. i have to wait until i am falling asleep reading a book and force myself out of bed to go brush my teeth. crazy.
6.i am quirky. when i posted a few weeks ago about quirkiness, i had to ask the people who know me best what mine were. they were more than willing to provide me with the information.
a)ordering at restaurants. a little reminiscent of sally(when harry met sally),but not quite that extreme. i always ask if they use real butter and despite my love affair with spuds, i hate hash browns and always want them substituted for something else. one friend in particular cannot stand that i cannot just say "i would like the rootie tootie fresh and fruity breakfast" and leave at it that. she likes to be uncomplicated,(is eating crap you dont like just to avoid being a pain the definition of uncomplicated?) but i figure substituting whole wheat toast for hash browns isnt really all that complicated. maybe i am kidding myself and every waiter who has taken my order at ihop has spit in my food. hard to tell.
b)mopping. i hate the thought of dunking the mop into a bucket of dirty water and thinking my floor is clean. my process is this: fill the left side of my kitchen sink with hot water and pine sol. dunk the mop and wring it out. mop a section of the floor. take the mop back to the sink and rinse it out over the right side, wring out, then dunk into the clean mop water, free of any dirty floor gunk. repeat. i am laughing at myself right now, but have you ever really paid attention to what the water looks like when you dump a mop bucket? its disgusting and after the first or second time you dunk your mop, you are just reapplying the filth you are trying to clean off your floor.
c)i will not take a dish to a potluck or to a family in church that i have not made before. even if i am super confident it will be good, i have to have a trial run. i also dont care to do the norm. i have never made a texas sheet cake or a jello w/shredded carrots in my life. it doesnt have to be super fancy, but i like what i make to be a little different.
i know there are more, but i have been distracted from this post, accidentally posted it incomplete, and have just taken way too long.
now for some of the sparkly good stuff. some of this is superficial and some it is deep, but its me.
1)blue eyes. they have often driven men to distraction. i dont get it, but i like it.
2)tall. i almost put this one in the crap portion of this post, but guys seem to like it. particularly the shorter ones-go figure.
3)loyal. i will go 9 rounds with anyone who screws with those i love. this doesnt just cover romantic entanglements-friends and family are included.
4)funny. i have a good sense of humor and i appreciate when a man is genuinely funny. i think they like my laugh and what guy doesnt like to be a comedian?
5)smart. not a genius, but i can be pretty quick and keep up with most minds.
6)faithful. i have NEVER been tempted to cheat on anyone i have loved. infidelity touches so many of us and even though it is never wise to say never, i will go out on a limb and say i will never be unfaithful. if i am so unhappy and the relationship is beyond repair, i would end it as gracefully as possible and then go on with my life.
7)i am trying to remember random things that others have said they find good about me. mmmmmmm. "authentic" is a word that has been tossed around. a few have been disarmed by it, but most have appreciated that i am "real" and dont play games. mr jack mormon said he liked the "sassy, flirty" me. mr ex man appreciated my "good" lds side, but really liked that i knew a little something about music-he would often tell me how beautiful i was. he also called me his "rock chick". silly, but i liked it. trying to remember anything that msof liked about me...all the things that are coming to mind are kind of selfish on his part. he liked my cooking and he liked me in bed. lol. he would tell his military buddies(this is so tacky)that everyone should marry a mormon girl-its the best sex you will ever have. he had this weird pride about being my first. AFTER we were married.
i guess thats enough. i might be able to come up with a few more, but its difficult to balance all this stuff out. take credit, but be humble. all that stuff. sigh.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


despite my allegiance to all things heavy metal during my high school years, i fell in love with crowded house. they are just so fun and smart. the original video for something so strong is adorable, but the ebedding was blocked on EVERY SINGLE VERSION on youtube, so i posted the live version. still good,but...
just hearing this song throws me back to when your coolness was measured by how nice(and how big) you cassette case was. mine was like a big brief case full of scorpions, def leppard, and motley crue and there was the lone crowded house cassette. i am such a multi layered girl. an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

Monday, June 14, 2010

can i get an amen?

"Do you still love me?" I asked.
"Still" he confirmed
Because this is the essential question, isn't it? I mean, once the initial madness of desire has passed and we are faced with each other as dimwitted mortal fools, how is it that any of us find the ability to love and forgive each other at all, much less enduringly?
Felipe didn't answer for a long time. The he said, "When I used to go down to Brazil to buy gemstones, I would often buy something they call 'a parcel.' A parcel is this random collection of gems that the miner of the wholesaler or whoever is bullshitting you puts together. A typical parcel would contain, I don't know, maybe twenty or thirty aquamarines at once. Supposedly, you get a better deal that way-buying them all in a bunch-but you have to be careful, because of course the guy in trying to rip you off. He's trying to unload his bad gemstones on you by packaging them together with a few really good ones.
"So when I first started in the jewelry business," Felipe went on, "I used to get in trouble because I'd get too excited about the one or two perfect aquamarines in the parcel, and I wouldn't pay as much attention to the junk they threw in there. After I got burned enough times, I finally got wise and learned this: You have to ignore the perfect gemstones. Don't even look at them twice because they're blinding. Just put them away and have a careful look at the really bad stones. Look at them for a long time, and then ask yourself honestly, 'Can I work with these? Can I make something out of this?' Otherwise, you've just spent a whole lot of money on one or two gorgeous aquamarines buried inside a big heap of worthless crap.
"It's the same with relationships, I think. People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other's personalities. Who wouldn't? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that's not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner's faults
honestly and say 'I can work around that. I can make something out of that.'? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it's always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."

copied from Elizabeth Gilbert's "Committed", copyright 2010, published by Viking Penguin.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

was my face red

just last night i was reminded of possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. i had completely forgotten about it until my good "friend" reminded me. its amazing how our mind can bury things that we dont want to remember so deep that they are almost irretrievable. almost. lets see if i can set the scene for you.
i was actively participating on one of the lds dating sites. things were going pretty well and things were really starting to happen for me and this guy i will call mr latin lover. like many relationships that start out on the internet,we were long distance. we were in the very beginning stages of planning the details of where and when we would meet and we were talking just about every day. flirting like crazy. he really possessed some of the stereo typical hispanic machismo that has NEVER done anything for me. until him. for some reason it was just worked.
it is still a mystery to me.
it was a saturday night, probably about 8. i was expecting a call from mr latin lover so it did not surprise me when the phone rang. i answered it on the third ring(cant seem to anxious, right?)with kind of a sexy "hello". nothing too slutty, mind you, but it was obvious that i was talking to a boy i liked. this is how the conversation went:
mlv: how are you? (really friendly and sweet. did i mention this boy liked me?)
smc: gooooooood. happy to hear from you. (i am being just as sweet. i LIKE this guy)whatcha doin? (i have to admit. i am being super flirty. its not so much the words, its my tone.)
i am sure there were a few more general, but pleasant exchanges, where i giggled like a little girl, shooting sparkles through the phone line. wait for it. this is where it all turns into a train wreck.
mlv: just calling everyone to remind them about ward welfare meeting tomorrow morning.
SCRRREEEEEEEEETTTTTTTCCH(imagine the deafening sound of tires squealing when the brakes are suddenly and violently stomped on) WHAT THE F--- HECK?! it wasnt mr latin lover at all. it was brother disguise his voice to sound like mr latin lover!!! who in the hell calls after 8 o'clock at night for church? on a saturday night, no less! should i be insulted that he would assume that an eligible bachelorette like myself would be home on date night?
now just about any normal person would just go on like nothing ever happened:
smc: ok brother disguise his voice. thanks for the reminder call, i will be there!
but NO! i could not recover. i hemmed. i hawed. i sputtered. i could not, for the life of me, regain my footing in this conversation, so i just came clean(like an idiot).
smc: oh my gosh bro disguise his voice, i am so sorry. i thought you were this man i am dating(white lie style stretch of the truth, but i was quickly sinking here)and i am sorry i was acting so weird!
now bro disguise his voice is a very nice man, not uptight at all, but he is married and the tone that i was using to speak to him was entirely inappropriate. i was so embarrassed, but he didnt seem to be. he thought it was hilarious.
bdv: ha ha ha sister single mormon chick. dont your worry about it.
smc: (face still on fire from the sheer humiliation of this five minute conversation)thanks brother disguse his voice. see you tomorrow.
now the panic sets in. most of us that are members of presidencies of the different auxiliaries are pretty friendly. we tease and joke a lot. i was going to be tortured tomorrow unless i did some sort of damage control. damage control, yeah right. i think the humiliation had diverted too much blood flow away from my brain because i was clearly not thinking straight when i contacted the two biggest jokesters in the group and told them the story, leaving out my own personal humiliation, by playing it down to a silly little mistake. i eventually calmed down and fooled myself into thinking that no one would bring it up in the meeting the next day. WRONG! it came up and i while i did a pretty good job of minimizing my utter embarrassment-the bishop seemed very confused and very concerned with what he was hearing so i then had to explain my gross error of judgement(and hearing). i think the bishops sense of humor had been surgically removed. he did not find it funny at all. the whole thing still causes me a little pain. i truly try to move through this life with a small amount of grace, but i so often trip myself up.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

yes please!

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly♥

i just ripped this off of someones facebook profile and not even sure who to credit for the lovely saying. it kind of goes with what i wrote in my last post about trying to be perfect.
isnt what we all want, what we all need? for someone to KNOW we are imperfect, but see us perfectly. sigh.


i just started reading elizabeth gilberts(eat,pray,love) new book "committed". its all about her journey back to marriage after swearing she would never marry again after her bitter and ugly divorce. sound familiar? uh, yeah.
i am about half way through and she has given lots of cultural information about marriage around the world and how it has changed for various reasons. right now she is talking about how women earning their own money and becoming more independent has changed things.
she also had this interesting piece on revealing your worst to the person you love to make sure they can handle it. her boyfriend/fiance/husband(depending on where you are at in the book)had a lovely analogy about gemstones(he is a gemstone buyer/importer)and how we all get distracted by the beautiful, sparkly stones, but we have to make sure we can make something out of the less desirable ones as well.
i am not really doing it justice-when i am not feeling so lazy, i think i will type it up verbatim. it really is pretty good and quite brilliant, in my opinion.
anyway-it got me thinking how we always put our best foot forward, which is good-for a while. appearing to be perfect or hide the flaws that will creep out eventually and disillusion the person who believed we were essentially with out fault(whatever)will only create issues down the line.
reminds me of one of the last things msof(mr soldier of fortune, my ex husband)ever said to me: "i married you because you were perfect and now you arent." WTF?!? i didnt even know i was supposed to be keeping up with that expectation or standard. it haunts me to this day.
looking back, i can honestly say that i put zero effort into trying to make msof think i was perfect. that was honestly his own misconception of a good mormon girl who practiced what she preached. he thought since i had these values that some mormon mojo would rub off on him and make his life somehow bullet-proof.
what i am ashamed to say is that when my marriage started falling apart, i attempted to be perfect in all aspects in the misguided notion that if i was better, it would fix whatever was ailing us. so silly.
as you can tell, the book has got me thinking. maybe too much.

Friday, June 11, 2010

this made me laugh out loud.

"when two people are really happy about one another, one can generally assume they are mistaken. goethe

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

has there been a shift?

i know that different men like all different kinds of girls, but i think there has been a perceptible shift. maybe its the mormon thing. this is the first time i am dating exclusively lds guys, so its possible its always been this way, but i never noticed because i was dating from the heathen, bad boy pool.
what i am getting at is: do lds guys NOT like tall brunettes? i have teased a particular reader of mine about this before, but he made a comment recently about petite blondes and it got me thinking about it again.
maybe this is part of my issue. i am just out of style. when i went to that temple night a few weeks ago all the girls were blonde and besides me, the tallest one was maybe 5'5".
EUREKA!!! looks like i have figured it out. so either i need a modern day miracle to turn the hearts of righteous lds men away from the petite blondes and to the tall brunettes ORRRRRRRRRR... i can just face facts and sign up for or hit one of those speed dating things.


“In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”
― Tom Bodett

love this quote, but i am distracted by the author. isnt tom bodett the motel 6 guy? you know, the old commercials "and we'll leave the light on"?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

dollars and sense

a couple of the guys have mentioned money, the economy, and finances in my post from yesterday about what men really want.
no holds barred guys. tell me what you really want.
do you want your wife to work full time until the kids start coming?
what about after the babies arrive?
are you happy to support pedicures, pampered chef parties, and weekly girls night out OR would you rather that be a rare exception?
how about a girls weekend away? maybe a cruise or a little trip to a cabin nestled in the woods. you stay home with the kids and a honey do list, of course.
you might have to work overtime to pay for groceries like frozen pizza and pre packaged food. chinese takeout will be ordered at least once a week, so budget for that.
little, if anything will be homemade and your kids will be wearing baby gap and aeropostale.
i mention these things, because i know women like this. i am not exaggerating.
is that just how it is now or have men unwittingly fallen into a financial trap?
money is a huge issue that is significant in many divorces.
i have dated men who stated they will not get involved with a woman who does not have a good job and a steady income because he is still supporting his first wife and doesnt want to support another.
its a crazy world folks. tell me what you think.

so true

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston Churchill

Sunday, June 6, 2010

what do guys REALLY want?

seriously. be honest. tell me, please!

this is what i think guys want:

1. sex. they want lots of sex. multiple times a day is preferable, but will settle for daily.

2. looks. they want a pretty girl. some things are standard, but the requirements can vary from man to man.

2a. body. they dont want a twig or an extrememly fat girl. there are exceptions to this of course. i know of some men who really like skinny, skinny girls and there are men who like girls with some junk in the trunk.

3. maternal instinct. they want someone who can be a good mother/stepmother/grandmother

4. homemaker. they want a girl with homemaking skills. cook, clean, maybe sew. guys want a girl who will feather the nest and make a house a home.

5. admiration and respect. men like to be praised. they want to know their girl thinks they are the best. they need to hear it a lot. they are the toughest, strongest, smartest, know the drill.

mr jack mormon used to quote chris rock: " a man wants only 3 things. food, sex, and silence."

so tell me. am i even close? i really want to hear what you guys have to say.

p.s. i would hope temple worthy and a testimony would be on the list, but it really doesnt seem to matter all that much to the men in my own dating experience and what i see of others experiences.

Friday, June 4, 2010

it IS a word

i looked up "flummoxed" a few days ago when i used it in a post where i mentioned how tripp hazard had me perplexed. i found the word, but not really a definition(i wanted to make sure i was using it properly)like i would normally get from websters or the free online dictionary. what little info i found supported me in my usage, so i went ahead,but then tripp called me out on it not being a word.
so here is one of my quirks: this kind of thing drives me crazy. i never used the word before, but i went ahead and then i was wrong. so i had to research it. i dont know what i did different in todays google search, but here ya go:

flum·mox (flmks)
tr.v. flum·moxed, flum·mox·ing, flum·mox·es Informal
To confuse; perplex.

so it is a word and i used it correctly. its really not about making anyone else wrong-i am not competitive that way, its that i cannot stand to be wrong in spelling, diction, or grammar. you might all be gasping because you read my blog and you might have seen the grammatical and spelling errors glaring at you, but another one of my quirks is that i sometimes get lazy. so lazy that i am willing to throw another quirk under the bus. like my lack of capitalization and punctuation. pure laziness.

when life gives you too many raisins...

make raisin bran muffins! they really turned out very yummy. so yummy that after i ate 2, i put the rest in a ziplock bag and put them in the freezer so that i could pace myself. i am generally a fairly light eater, but i really, really liked these muffins and having to get one out of the freezer and either let it defrost or nuke it for 20 seconds makes it more effort than i am willing to do more than once a day. pretty filling too. the following is a recipe from the kelloggs web site-there were tons of other recipes from all recipes,, and a bunch of other sites, but i went with this one:

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar
3 cups Raisin Bran
1 1/4 cups fat-free milk
1 egg
1/3 cup vegetable oil or shortening
1. Stir together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Set aside.

2. Measure KELLOGG'S Raisin Bran and milk into mixing bowl. Stir to combine. Let stand 1 to 2 minutes or until cereal softens. Add egg and vegetable oil. Beat well.

3. Add flour mixture to cereal mixture, stirring only until combined. Portion batter evenly into twelve 2 1/2-inch muffin pan cups coated with cooking spray.

4. Bake at 400° F for 25 minutes or until golden brown. Serve warm.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

quirky enough?

tripp hazard gave some pretty sound advice on one of my recent posts regarding the possibility of joining a lds dating site.
one thing he said has me somewhat flummoxed. funny word, flummoxed. i dont think i have ever used that word, but i think it fits here. when he suggested that i show my quirkiness(am i quirky? i am sure SOMEONE would think so), but hold back a bit. one level less is how i think he put it.
how quirky am i? am i enough to be interesting or am i really so over the top that men run screaming?
the latter really isnt true. i think i fall into a fairly common category where the guys i date really seem to like me, a good number have fallen in love with me(or so they said), but when it comes to follow through, they drop the ball.
i think a more likely possibility is that i am not quirky enough. men seem to like the girls who put them through the ringer. make em work for it. i am not really like that. i dont take crap, but i dont make ridiculous demands. wait. maybe i do. if you say you have a temple recommend, i expect you to have one and not some lame story about why you dont. i demand honesty and have 0 tolerance for the lack of it.
maybe a guy will do all you ask, jump through all the hoops if you just have sex. maybe that is my quirk. i wont have sex unless i am married. i dont know how you can hold back a level on that.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

dear mr kellogg

and your sunshine dude with his GIANT scoops of raisins. seriously, i dont need 2 scoops in my raisin bran. just one would be fine. i love raisins, but its just too much.

should i?

i have been toying with the idea(for months really)of signing back up for ldsmingle or planet or whatever is out there at this point. a few weeks ago i had my best friend take some pictures of me and they turned out great. i was really happy with them, which is unusual because i usually hate pictures of myself.
so i have the pictures, but now i am wondering what to put in my profile. the profiles are generally pretty boring. i have spiced mine up a little in the past, but i want a fresh approach. any ideas? i really dont want to be a used car salesperson touting all my attributes despite the high mileage. i dont want to be too disaffected or aloof either. i am neither of those things, but apparently i can come off that way.
i would seriously appreciate any input you might have-even if its along the lines of "whatever you do dont do THIS(fill in the blank). thanks :)


i dont frequent facebook like i used to. i dont like the changes they have made and with the new threat of it becoming a pay-for subscription service...fuggidaboudit.
i think the funk i am in has me even more annoyed, so keep that in mind as you read the following.
i log in and it immediately gives me a ton of people that i should friend. i glance over them and dont click on any of them, but just before i am about to click away, a name catches my eye. then a faint memory starts to emerge of this quiet kid in my ap english lit class my senior year.
guys in ap english were somewhat rare in "my day", so he stands out for that reason, but he also had the odd shaped head-almost square and the way he cut his dark hair almost made him look frakenstein-ish. he wasnt ugly, in fact a girl in the class loved him. she was quiet too and did not make a big fuss, but he knew and he did NOT return her affection.
they were both bused in from a tiny farming town that didnt have their own high school. they were both lds, so i am sure they were in the same ward. you could tell just by the way she looked at him that she just thought he was perfect. i couldnt see what she saw, but i did see what indifference he treated her with. i really didnt know either of them, but i was pissed off at HIM for being such a jerk to such a nice girl. she was cute too. think maryann from gilligans island. that kind of cute.
we had to write a lot of papers for this class and then read them aloud. the teacher always commented on his handwriting(no typewriters or computers for us!)- he literally printed in typewriter style. perfectly spaced and even-all the letters exactly the same and perfect. it was odd. another memory is of the teacher critiquing one of his papers(as she did all of ours) and he got so mad-he even challenged her critique saying that i did the same thing and she didnt criticize me. the teacher hotly pointed out the difference in our papers(mine being the better one)and quickly put him in his place. you could tell he was fuming, but he never said anything more.
in the 20+ years since i have graduated i have heard things about this guy-he served a mission and ended up marrying that girl he ignored in high school. had 6 kids, cheated on her, treated her like total crap, and they are now divorced. i dont know this as fact, but i can imagine that she would have wanted to stay with him no matter what and it was him who initiated the divorce.
still a big jerk after all these years. i almost want to friend him to see if he will accept and then see what i can really find out.
i dont think i can muster up the energy it would take to deal with that. maybe we really arent supposed to connect with all these people from our past. i hear that marriage counselors credit facebook with raising rates of infidelity and subsequent marriage counseling. i soooo believe it. i actually know a girl who came "this close" to cheating on her husband with her high school boyfriend who friended her on facebook.
so, there you go. facebook says i should friend mr frankenstein, but doesnt seem to realize what a tool i know him to be. heck. the church is true and we all have access to the Atonement. maybe he totally turned over a new leaf and is an amazing guy.he doesnt look amazing in his picture. he looks like a jerk and possibly gay. i just threw that gay thing in because with the goatee he grew since high school makes him look EXACTLY like a good friend of mine who is so gay. they could be twins.
wouldnt that be a story? maybe he was a jerk because he was in the closet and he was mean to that girl because he was into guys but couldnt reveal it because he is a mormon from a small town. i am just rambling now. i am going to stop.

in a funk

sigh. this personal revelation stuff has really worn me out. i am not depressed. not really. just in a funk. thinking about stuff-maybe too much thinking. i appreciate everyone who chimed in with their thoughts and experiences on personal revelation. i am sure this funk will pass.
i hope you all had a fun memorial day. i ended up bailing on the bbq i was invited to. went and spent some time with gbf, did a little shopping and went home.
sometimes i wonder if i am just too boring.