Wednesday, June 9, 2010

has there been a shift?

i know that different men like all different kinds of girls, but i think there has been a perceptible shift. maybe its the mormon thing. this is the first time i am dating exclusively lds guys, so its possible its always been this way, but i never noticed because i was dating from the heathen, bad boy pool.
what i am getting at is: do lds guys NOT like tall brunettes? i have teased a particular reader of mine about this before, but he made a comment recently about petite blondes and it got me thinking about it again.
maybe this is part of my issue. i am just out of style. when i went to that temple night a few weeks ago all the girls were blonde and besides me, the tallest one was maybe 5'5".
EUREKA!!! looks like i have figured it out. so either i need a modern day miracle to turn the hearts of righteous lds men away from the petite blondes and to the tall brunettes ORRRRRRRRRR... i can just face facts and sign up for or hit one of those speed dating things.


  1. I know what you mean...

    I've never understood why my buddies loved such short girls!

    Maybe it's because they're so small it really increases the protective nature in men, and by feeling protective of them the become attracted to them.

    I haven't ever been attracted short girls. I cannot go out with a girl shorter than 5'4" and I probably would never marry a girl shorter than 5'7". I find tall women much more attractive than short. Though women as tall or taller than me are a little intimidating, but let's face it, who wouldn't be intimidated by a 6'4" or taller female?

    Look at it from a genetics point of view, you are genetically superior, one day your 6' or taller sons will be dunking over the top of their 5'7" sons. On top of that, who's going to marry their 5'7" sons anyway? Not any of the girls I date, that's for sure...

  2. I think I figured out what your quirk is... Overthinking! Just relax and get out there : )

  3. I think an LDS man who is attracted to Tall Brunettes is just rare, like the Beautiful and Ambitious LDS woman. They're out there, just very hard to find.

  4. From one tall brunette LDS woman to another, I feel your pain. It is easy to find "heathen" men to date, but the LDS guys seem to all like that stereotype. At least, the guys in New England do. I'm mixing things up, though. Changing my geography, I hope, may change up my dating situation too.

  5. woasm- you are one of the rare ones. there are maybe 2 or 3 tall men that i have met(not necessarily dated)that have said similar things about how silly it is to date such a short girl if your are really tall. i think you are onto something as far as the whole genetic and protective things.
    so if you meet a good lds guy(doesnt have to be peter priesthood or perfect)who likes tall brunettes and is in the 35-45 yr old age bracket-send him my way!
    kelly- you are right! i do tend to over think things and over analyze, but this was kind of an ah-ah moment and i just shot out the post.
    gotta get my profile together and just DO IT. its a drag and i tend to procrastinate those things. the hardest part, the pictures is done though, so i need to get crackin. :)

  6. Look on the bright side . . only one in 20 of those petite blondes are naturally that way (while I'm not petite, I am natural and all of the fakes drive me nuts) - so 10 years down the line when they get sick of touching up their roots, they'll just be short and mousey rather than tall beautiful brunettes. :)

  7. zuzu- arent you moving west? i hope it works for you, but from what i hear from my az and ut friends- its worse!
    less than 2% of the population has natural blonde hair-so all these guys are attracted to something that isnt real. i guess an argument could be made that good bras and high heels create an illusion too.
    maybe i should dye my hair and see what happens. mmmm. something to think about.
    i did it years ago(not in the dating pool then)and it was such a pain. and expensive. i got a really good deal and it cost me almost 100 bucks every 2 months. maybe i can fake it for a while and nab a man who will be willing to pay for the upkeep. lol. just rambling again.

  8. lol. jj! i love what you had to say. sooooo true. lucky you to be one of the few. :)

  9. Okay, I've talked about this here before a bit, but here's another dip into the topic:

    For me, the trifecta is short, blonde and cute, with cute being the more important of the three, and, as others have said, blonde isn't always blonde. I did not list "petite" as a criterion, and it's not, for me. I've known some quite attractive not-tiny women, and I know that weight fluctuates in real people, so petite is less permanent than blonde is.

    I've been plenty attracted to tall brunettes (amusing because, in our current set of temple films, I much prefer the brunette Eve to the blonde Eve, but I much prefer most of the rest of the film with the blonde Eve, especially the Satan). Cute/pretty goes a long way. I probably should mention that "short" for me would probably start around 5'8" and go down from there.

    I'm watching, right now, one of the last few Bonnie Hunt Shows, and she's talking to Lori Gottlieb, who wrote "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough," and I'm finding it an interesting backdrop to this conversation. Because, in a way, you're asking about the male version of this. She surveyed men and women about things they'd need to see in a first date (or not) to go on to a second date. Men had three criteria that showed up most often: she needed to be warm and caring, she needed to be attractive (not super-model gorgeous, but attractive), and interesting enough to talk to. Women listed over 300 deal breakers, including "He wore a brown belt with black shoes" (there's something wrong with that?).

    I think some of this depends a lot on which pool you're fishing in. When you're aiming at the cute, dangerous and exciting pool, you're going to get guys who are looking for more with the attractive and exciting as they see it, and not so much with the conversation and caring. If you're willing to look at someone (as my former roommate would put it) shorter, balder and fatter, you're more apt to get someone who's going to have a bit more flexibility in what he expects in the appearance department. And being shorter, balder and fatter doesn't mean stupider, less interesting, less character, or anything, frankly which matters to making a marriage work other than, perhaps (not necessarily) in the chemistry department.

    Oh and as to the "blonde isn't real," it's really blonde when I'm looking at it, and it's just as real as the make-up and the outfit I'm looking at with it. It's appearance. It's fun to look at pretty people -- it feels good to look at pretty people. But appearance is fungible, and will change in a matter of minutes-to-hours in some areas, months and years in others, but nobody looks the same forever (except this one girl at my 25 year reunion last summer, but that was unusual).

  10. blain- i guess we should have defined our terms. "petite" = short(5'4 and under)and skinny. to me anyway. i like that you consider short under 5'8 :)
    i saw that author on bonnie hunt and liked what she had to say. still havent gotten her book. i did get "committed" and so far i am enjoying it. it wasnt what i expected, but its still good.
    i am not shopping for a bad boy. i really wasnt intentionally doing it in the past, but there is a definite history. i dated nerdy rm's and guys with short hair and receding hairlines as well. i have dated men that my friends considered ugly, but i found quite cute. my "trifecta" would be tall, like 6'5, dark hair, and football player type build. but i have found red heads, blondes and baldies attractive. its all in the chemistry.
    you are right. the looks change. hopefully we can all age gracefully.
    i always look forward to your comments. thanks for chiming in :)

  11. I've heard Mormon guy friends say that they prefer brunettes. I remembered these comments because they stung a little. I'm blonde. Maybe you remember more guys-who-like-blondes comments because those comments sting more to you.

    I'm tall; I imagine I missed out on dates with attractive short guys because they thought I was too tall for them. But you're looking for tall guys anyway, right? Based on what I've overheard from plenty of Mormon guys, the tall men who prefer tall women outnumber the tall men who prefer short women. So I'd say that there's not any overarching preference running against tall brunettes; it's just that different people like different looks.

    Despite all that, many people end up dating someone who looks quite a bit different from their imagined ideal, because their personalities click. I hope you embrace your tallness and brunetteness; you'll feel and look most attractive that way.

  12. no kidding! i always liked tall, dark headed guys, but msof(my ex)was average height and blonde. lol
    i totally embrace my brunette-ness. i dont yearn to be blonde. or short for that matter.
    glad you have heard some of the lds guys saying they like brunettes. havent seen it too much myself, but... you never know.