Tuesday, June 19, 2012

am i lonely?

i generally dont think about lonliness much. i dont mind being alone and there arent many times that i can truly say i was lonely.
yesterday my 14 yr old niece asked me if i was lonely. my knee jerk reaction was to say no, but her question made me think about it and eventually admit the truth to myself. i am, in fact, lonely.
somehow it makes me feel less to admit that. is it ok to be lonely or is it a symptom of a deeper issue within myself?
i think about Dick every day and miss him, but i am not traumatized by it.  i just feel like i am patiently(usually) waiting. i am not in any sort of deep anguish, but i feel a little lost and wish he was here to anchor me. i have always anchored myself. why do i feel the desire for him to do it now?
i dont want to think about it anymore.

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