infinite steps back

oh my gosh. it couldnt have gone worse. i dont even know if i can write about it. mr ex man is gone forever. no recovering. i am sick over how it all happened. its just horrible and icky. his life is such a mess, but he thinks i am the screwed up one. it is a classic case of deflecting blame to another in an effort to distract from all that is screwed up with you. my heart is broken. he was mean and cruel. so unnecessary. maybe i will write more later. this hurts.