sigh...

it recently occurred to me that as of this year, i have been divorced longer than i had been married to msof. not upset, just find it kind of curious. it could mean nothing, but it could be saying a lot. i just dont know.
if things had gone as planned, i would be celebrating my second anniversary with mr ex man this august.
i posted a few weeks back about my world tipping and the color draining out-things had calmed down a little,but its all rearing its ugly head again. its really hard to manage because most of it is not my responsibility to fix, but effects me and so many people i love.
one of my dearest friends was admitted to the hospital. one of my best friends children are going through a major crisis. several sisters in our ward are dealing with huge issues like porn and prescription drug addiction. its all weighing on me and i know that i need to manage it, but i am struggling with that. its all just so ugly. so much at one time.
i know i am not necessarily unique. its a scary world and so many are being touched by the ugly darkness.
reading over this post i realize that i am all over the place. jumping from one thing to another. its how my mind is working today. eek.