numbers game

if the average lds person gets married at...lets say 22(being a tad generous here) and and if they started dating at 16, you could say that the average lds person is only single and dating for 6 years.
i have been divorced for over 10 years in addition to the 4 years of dating prior to my marriage at 20.
this thought occurred to me the other day and i found it very interesting. fourteen plus years compared to an average of 6.
just saying.

sigh...

it recently occurred to me that as of this year, i have been divorced longer than i had been married to msof. not upset, just find it kind of curious. it could mean nothing, but it could be saying a lot. i just dont know.
if things had gone as planned, i would be celebrating my second anniversary with mr ex man this august.
i posted a few weeks back about my world tipping and the color draining out-things had calmed down a little,but its all rearing its ugly head again. its really hard to manage because most of it is not my responsibility to fix, but effects me and so many people i love.
one of my dearest friends was admitted to the hospital. one of my best friends children are going through a major crisis. several sisters in our ward are dealing with huge issues like porn and prescription drug addiction. its all weighing on me and i know that i need to manage it, but i am struggling with that. its all just so ugly. so much at one time.
i know i am not necessarily unique. its a scary world and so many are being touched by the ugly darkness.
reading over this post i realize that i am all over the place. jumping from one thing to another. its how my mind is working today. eek.

more sex and the good mormon girl

i sincerely intended to write more on yesterday's entry regarding sex. its on everyones mind. i went out with one man who told me he agreed with the law of chastity "in theory",but thought the church should alter its stance for divorced persons since they were previously sexually active. i personally think that is crazy. i understand why he is saying it. kind of. comitting to a celibate lifestyle after living a sexually active one is difficult. i just dont think that single members of the church(in general)try hard enough.i am not talking about living like a nun or some monk,but PEOPLE can we keep it zipped up? i need to do some research and post the actual statistics, but we KNOW that jumping into sex too fast is a BAD thing. it creates issues, none of which are good. i remember reading a study several years ago making the argument that pre-marital sex and co-habitation does not improve the odds for a successful marriage. quite the opposite. divorce rates are actually higher for couples who have lived together before marriage. i digress. i do that. ramble. get off on tangents. anyway. i think there are blessings to be had for following the law of chastity. its not always easy and certainly explaining to your dates(even the active members)can be a nightmare. i hate the fact that even members look at you like you are a freak because you havent had sex in 10 years. sigh. during my time on the lds dating site i could just sense them clicking back on my picture, thinking that i must have posted a phony shot or a very old one at the very least because the reason i am not having sex MUST be because i dont get offers due to unfortunate looks or something.