i am just wondering

there have been a handful of people on my facebook friends list that have had the dtr, are dating exclusively, engaged, or married. all of the women have updated their profile to reflect the new relationship status. with the exception of 1, NONE of the men have. could someone explain this to me?

more memories

a year ago dick told me he loved me. i had seen it coming for a while and at first i dreaded it. i didnt feel the same. i could tell that he liked me way more than i liked him, but 2-3 weeks before he actually told me, my feelings started to change. by time i knew that he was going to tell me that day, i knew i was in love with him and couldnt wait for him to declare it because i knew i could say it back without reservation. what changed my mind(heart)? a million things he didnt even know he was doing, but it all added up to l-o-v-e. i was hoping he was remembering this day as well and would reach out, but he didnt. can a person be sad, but not in emotional pain?

sometimes no news is good news...

but sometimes its just no news. i have very little to offer in the way of anything new and interesting. nothing planned for the holidays-thanksgiving is usually my favorite. i love to do all the cooking and hanging out with family and friends. this year, due to strange(but not bad)circumstances. there will be no thanksgiving for me. i am surprisingly ok with it. no boy news to report. i have zero desire to date right now. mr nice guy continues to call with appropriate(for 'friends')frequency. i know he loves me, but i dont feel the same. i truly want the best for him, but he seems incapable of making necessary changes to grow up and move on with his life. so sad to see a grown man so controlled by his mother. i keep thinking about dick(as in the tom, dick, and harry of last year)and really wishing i knew what really happened. women always want to know. they want the details in as vivid color as you can give them. even if its painful. this is a new place for me because the thoughts of him are not mournful or painful in any way, but it has affected my desire and willingness to "get out there". i am just not interested at all. which leads to another issue-my new calling involves some association with the churchs single adult program. when i was asked to do it, i literally laughed because i am famous for my disdain for the whole thing. i have been pleasantly surprised at how some of this has worked out. which is nice since all other experiences with the program have been epic failures. i hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving. :)

a memory

its a full moon tonight. i am usually pretty lazy about noticing those things, but it caught my attention today and brought a year old memory rushing back into my mind. about a year ago, dick was courting me and doing a mighty fine job of it if i remember correctly. he was out of town on business and we were at a point where our calls were no longer random, maybe i will pick up, maybe i wont type things. we were talking with increasing frequency and while i was still trying to keep him at arms length, i was liked talking to him more and more and looked forward to his calls. almost exactly a year ago he asked me on a moon date(it sounds so cheesy and coming from anyone else i would have dismissed it as such). i wasnt aware it was going to be a full moon and had no idea what he meant. he informed me of the full moon and since we couldnt be together, could he call and we could talk and enjoy the moon together? i can hear all of you groaning and i sense you rolling your eyes, but i am telling you....I LOVED IT and even though i just said something like "sure", i was quietly ecstatic about the simple romance of it all. i bundled up and when he called i went in the back yard to sit on the swing and looked up at the gorgeous moon sitting in the black sky while the realization that i was falling in love with him solidified in my mind and my heart. 2 weeks later he told me he was in love with me and without hesitation, i told him i loved him too.

single mormon girls in their family wards

i have the best ward. i know a lot of people say that, but i really do. when i moved into it a few years ago, i was the classic, fly under the radar, member and I LIKED IT THAT WAY. then the ward split and someone got the crazy idea to call me into a leadership position. crazy, i know. soon EVERYONE knew me. i was on the radar so to speak. it was a slow sort of evolution, but it dawned on me a little while back...i am one of those people in the ward that everyone knows. i am fairly well liked and i have to say the whole experience is odd to me. its not bad. just odd. here i am rambling again(youve missed it havent you?), but i am getting around to the point. really i am. being single in a family ward can be tricky. you always have to be on your guard to make sure you are not appearing to flirt or pay too much attention to the married men in the ward. in my calling i have to interact with leadership. in our church, that is mainly men(duh)and i have only had one problem with one sister who absolutely refused to give a message regarding a stake assignment to her husband who was out of town. it was the most bizarre thing. i think i am going to have to write a post on that experience itself. anyway, to continue rambling....a girl has to be careful. seriously avoid the appearance of evil. a few weeks ago i had two things happen that pleasantly surprised me. the first is that i walked into the chapel and saw an elderly brother that i know fairly well, so i walked right up, shook his hand(like i usually do)and he said "you sure are looking beautiful on this sunday morning." with a big smile on his face. he said it with such sweet sincerity that i didnt feel the tiniest bit uncomfortable. i just thanked him and sat down in my usual pew. its been a while since i have had such a genuine a sweet compliment from someone(a man) who wanted nothing in return. it made me happy. then during sunday school i was sitting in the same row with the 1st counselors wife(who was my visiting teacher years ago)with an empty seat between us. he came in late, sat down, put his arm around me and gave me a little hug. he has never done that before, but i felt completely comfortable. i also knew that his wife would think nothing of it. why did these two events make me happy? maybe its just another level of acceptance. i am not sure. if you are single in a married ward-how do you feel about it? if you are married-how do you perceive the single adults in your ward?

the new do. maybe. tell me what you think.

i would love opinions from both men and women. what do you think of this cut? does is look "dyke-ish"? i am thinking its sophisticated and sexy. ultimately i think i will grow it out again, but i just need a fresh start and i am hoping my hair will snap out of its yuckiness. just for the record-my hair is about this color and probably about this texture. mine my be a little finer, but with good product, i think i can pull it off without too much problem. honest opinions please.