2 books

i just finished "marry him ---> the case for settling for mr good enough and i am trying to get through "a love alchemists notebook". ms gottlieb(marry him) gives a lot of good information about dating, marriage, and divorce, but there is no happy ending. she says she has learned a lot, but hasnt gotten married and isnt even dating much. ms shepherd(love alchemist) had a very happy ending. she found the love of her life and got married.
gottlieb hired a dating coach who brought her some dismal numbers about the men available to her. something like 1% of an already small percentage of the male population who are interested in dating a woman in her 40's, while shepherd says that the scarcity we speak of is a myth. there is enough love to go around for everyone. you just have to use her magic secrets to "draw" the love of your life to you. its a tough read. i really dont know if i will make it through it. she is a astrologist, so a lot of her principles are based on knowing when your love sign is in the right house when mars is in retrograde or something like that. i really dont have the patience for that crap.
i am happy to say that i didnt fall into many of the traps that "marry him" talks about, but i am a little embarrassed to say that i have fallen into the trap of wanting the "perfect" romantic love story. in sex in the city, charlotte wanted the ny times write up in the wedding section. i want the good story to tell when my (imaginary) husband and i give a talk in sacrament meeting. gottlieb tells many stories of how women were holding out for the perfect story only to pass up the right guy because he didnt meet every lofty expectation. gottlieb herself tells of 2 guys she passed up and regrets it terribly.
overall, the book was a little depressing. her spin on the statistics are pretty dim for a girl like me, but it was a good read and there was some good information towards the end about happiness in marriage.
i will let you know about the love alchemist,if i make it through.

just because it made me laugh

and no other reason. i have pretty much discarded "how to marry the man of your choice" for the sheer ridiculousness of it. i mean, i know there are some legitimate points, but COME ON! consider the following:

after me, make it coffee or tea.

a man behaves quite differently when he's satisfied than when he's sexually hungry. after sex, he may not be as considerate. if you're eager to ask a favor from him, or want to press an issue that will require his giving in, ask him before he's sexually exhausted.
after intercourse, the man will have little energy left. let him sleep if he wishes. then be prepared to revive him with coffee, sweets, and appetizing snacks. when your man achieves sexual satisfaction early in the day, he may be exhausted for hours. if you dont revive him, you may find yourself spending the day with a grouch. i f you have sex at night,his body naturally recovers energy in sleep. by morning, his need for you is returning and he will be up to par.
consider yourselves enriched and edified.

how to marry the man of your choice

i have been trying to read this book, but for me, it reeks of manipulation. i have been skimming and flipping back and forth between the pages and so far it seems to be a book of tricks. i could be missing something-i am totally willing to admit to the fact that i might not be open to these particular techniques.
an exerpt from chapter 8: "praising and criticizing the one you love", subsection labeled "your behavior can win his love(where they categorize different types of women such as the nag or the fan)". in this section we learn about "the bitch".
"think of the women you know who are most successful with men. these are the women who are demanding and complain to their men, but accept them nonetheless. you may think of these women as bitchy, but they have men flocking arond them, men you lost by being nice. sometimes you need to act bitchy to succeed with men. you may be too nice!"
it goes on to explain the difference between a nag and a bitch and how men rejecting "nice" women is akin to women going for the bad boys.
i hate this. i hate it even more because it is true.
i am not, by any stretch of the imagination, too "nice", but i hate the thought of purposely being a "bitch" in order to attract a man.
any thoughts? is this what i need to do? be a bitch? i want to hear what everyone has to say, but guys, please weigh in. wait. i need to be a bitch to get what i want out of a man. RESPOND NOW! ;-)

good advice?

in anticipation of possibly breaking the dating hiatus, i am reading "how to marry the man of your choice" by margaret kent. i havent gotten very far. some of the advice seemed really old school like the chapter titled "interviewing him for the job of husband." i went to the front of the book and discovered that is was written in 1984 and revised and updated in 2005. mrs kent claims she used all the ideas in her book to get her husband. i am a little wary and doubtful.