in a nut shell...

here is a quick re-cap of THE MEN OF SINGLE MORMON CHICK:

tall guy with sunglasses(tgws) my first love. we dated for about 5 years(high school and a little beyond) and i truly loved him, but he got caught up in drugs and it really changed everything i was attracted to. we broke up when i was 19 and almost a year later i was married to...

mr soldier of fortune(msof)we had known each other since we were little kids, but never went out or anything romantic. apparently he loved me all through high school and thought it was a waste for me to have been with tgws. we were married for about 10 years. things had been bad for quite a while, but the final straw was his infidelity. it was so devastating then, but the details are kind of comical now.

mr nice guy was a momma's boy. he was so nice and such a gentleman, but completely controlled by his mother. if he had ever found the jar his mother had his balls stored in, we probably would have gotten married.

mr great white north was a little bit older than i normally liked, but he was truly young at heart. i really enjoyed my time with him and broke my "lets be friends rule" when i told him about mr ex man.

mr ex man was my guy. he chased me down on one of the dating sites shortly after i had met mr great white north. the chemistry was immediate and we had a lot of cool things in common. we connected on so many levels and i just thought he was amazing. it truly seemed like we were made for each other,but then there was major drama with his ex wife regarding his kids. from the outside looking in, it seemed pretty clear what he should do, but he couldnt see the forest for the trees. his choices completely ruined us by destroying trust. there were a few other things, but i think they could have been resolved if it werent for the ex wife issues. it was a horrible break up that drug out for much longer than it ever should have, but isnt that how so many break ups go?

mr jack mormon is such a fun guy and i really liked being with him, but he wanted sex. pre marital sex to be exact. he felt that all couples needed to sleep together before marriage to be sure they were sexually compatible. we had many intellectual discussions regarding this. he never "tried" anything, but during one of our discussions he let me know that the reason he never kissed me was because i wouldnt have sex with him. talk about throwing the baby out with the bath water.

so thats it in a nut shell...some of the highlights of my romantic life so far.

the mr great white north story

i know i tend to ramble, but i will attempt to make this as concise as possible. some of it i may have covered before, but since i have yet to properly tag and categorize my posts, i dont feel like digging through a years worth of content to find out. lazy. i ramble and i am lazy. no wonder i am not married off!
anyway-i met mr great white north on ldsmingle a few weeks before i met mr ex man(a detail that is significant a little later on). we im'd for a week or two before he asked for my phone number. he was nice and i had a lot of fun im'ing, so i gave it to him right away. the chemistry translated to actual conversation and we started talking about him coming to visit me.
about this time i had decided to delete my profile from mingle. not because i thought mr great white north was THE ONE, but i was just done with that scene. its exhausting, really. the day i logged in to cancel my subscription, mr ex man sent me a "flirt". we flirted back and forth, but he wasnt sending me an email or initiating an im conversation, so i just blew it off. like i said, i was fed up and even the possibility of a cute guy who was 6'4 with broad shoulders was not much of an enticement.
i am already beyond rambling and my attempt at being concise is wasted, so i will spare you all the details that got me to fall in love with mr ex man. maybe another post.
i see i am falling in love with mr ex man and i decide to tell mr great white north that i want to focus on that relationship. he was super cool and asked if we could be friends. i am normally against that, but thought it would be a good thing with him. we had little or no contact after that and i went on with the mr ex man saga.
i think guys must have some sort of radar that alerts them when you break up and are vulnerable because mr great white north called me within a few weeks of my break up.
we talked, we laughed, he asked if he could come see me. we started making plans and then he disappeared. that routine repeated itself two more times over 2 years.
why did i tolerate that, you might ask. it just wasnt that big of a deal. it was annoying, but i really wasnt invested.
HOWEVER- when he called this this time i made it clear that his previous shenanigans would no longer be tolerated. he was understanding and explained a little about why it had happened previously. reasons, but no real excuses. we were talking almost every day. the plans for him to come visit were really gelling, but then he started bailing on me. three times in less than 24 hours he dropped out of conversations asking if he could call me back, but never did.
there is more, nothing earth shattering, but indicative to the fact that he was either unprepared or unwilling to enter into the kind of relationship i am looking for. when i very diplomatically(really, i was)told him how i felt about what he was doing he replied "i think for now we should just be friends". WHATEVER! so what? basic expectations send you crying like a little baby?
there are many things about his life right now that i know would make any relationship difficult, but my thing is this: you are an adult, you know what is going on-dont make promises you cant keep! big or small, it doesnt matter. dont expect a woman you claim to be interested in to put up with your crap. accept you arent ready and dont entertain relationships until you are.

take off hoser

mr great white north is history. what a mess. i just dont know why things have to be so difficult. why the games? why the childish behavior? all so unnecessary. i am playing with the details in my mind and havent decided if i want to post about it. for the most part, i think i acted fairly well in the whole saga, but all of it is just so petty. i guess i am somewhat embarrassed about letting it go despite the red flags. i have been told i give too many chances. i think mr great white north is a classic example that could prove that theory.

stupid, dumb, and ugly

thats what a good friend of mine calls "boys". including her husband. who she truly loves, but like we all do, gets mad(occasionally)at the man she loves.
mr great white north is being sweet and charming and i have having fun flirting with him, but i am not letting him get away with the disappearing act. his explanation is not complete, but sufficient to satisfy me. for now.
i told him that he owes me nothing, but courtesy. i am not trying to imply a relationship that doesnt exist or force something that needs to occur in a more natural way, but dropping off the face of the earth while making plans that he initiated is not cool.
what is wrong with people?

big ole surpise

earlier today i heard the old familiar "ping" of my yahoo messenger. i cant even remember the last time this has happened. all my friends and family text me and i systematically eliminated or blocked everyone else. ie: the men. except one. mr great white north. why did i exclude him from the cut? i am not really sure. probably because i see him as harmless. i met him just a few months before mr ex man on one of the lds dating sites. i had a blast im'ing and speaking with him on the phone, but after i met mr ex man and things were progressing so well, i let mr great white north what was going on. i could tell he was disappointed, but respected the fact i was telling him in an upfront way. well, that was a few years ago and he has popped up here and there. it was like he had some sort of radar letting him know exactly when mr ex man and i broke up. he frequently travels my way for business and about 6 months ago he asked me if we could make plans for him to come visit. where i was hesitant in the past, i was completely open to it at the time. he is fun. he is sweet. the fact that he is 10 years older and still has a little of that old fashioned gentleman in him is a big plus for me, but the fun, sweet gentleman disappeared. simply dropped off the face of the earth. one day he was there the next he was gone. i missed talking to him, but kind of like mr jack mormon, i wasnt in love with him. my heart wasnt broken, but i was irritated he did not give me the same courtesy i gave him. today was the first time i had heard from him. same ole mr great white north. said he missed me and that he was sorry he dropped out, etc. his life is a mess(his words, not mine)and i would never get seriously involved with him, but he his fun to talk to. i like how it sounds when he calls me "baby" or "doll" with his canadian accent. will have to see how it works out. heck, for all i know, he will disappear again.