Sunday, March 14, 2010

the mr great white north story

i know i tend to ramble, but i will attempt to make this as concise as possible. some of it i may have covered before, but since i have yet to properly tag and categorize my posts, i dont feel like digging through a years worth of content to find out. lazy. i ramble and i am lazy. no wonder i am not married off!
anyway-i met mr great white north on ldsmingle a few weeks before i met mr ex man(a detail that is significant a little later on). we im'd for a week or two before he asked for my phone number. he was nice and i had a lot of fun im'ing, so i gave it to him right away. the chemistry translated to actual conversation and we started talking about him coming to visit me.
about this time i had decided to delete my profile from mingle. not because i thought mr great white north was THE ONE, but i was just done with that scene. its exhausting, really. the day i logged in to cancel my subscription, mr ex man sent me a "flirt". we flirted back and forth, but he wasnt sending me an email or initiating an im conversation, so i just blew it off. like i said, i was fed up and even the possibility of a cute guy who was 6'4 with broad shoulders was not much of an enticement.
i am already beyond rambling and my attempt at being concise is wasted, so i will spare you all the details that got me to fall in love with mr ex man. maybe another post.
i see i am falling in love with mr ex man and i decide to tell mr great white north that i want to focus on that relationship. he was super cool and asked if we could be friends. i am normally against that, but thought it would be a good thing with him. we had little or no contact after that and i went on with the mr ex man saga.
i think guys must have some sort of radar that alerts them when you break up and are vulnerable because mr great white north called me within a few weeks of my break up.
we talked, we laughed, he asked if he could come see me. we started making plans and then he disappeared. that routine repeated itself two more times over 2 years.
why did i tolerate that, you might ask. it just wasnt that big of a deal. it was annoying, but i really wasnt invested.
HOWEVER- when he called this this time i made it clear that his previous shenanigans would no longer be tolerated. he was understanding and explained a little about why it had happened previously. reasons, but no real excuses. we were talking almost every day. the plans for him to come visit were really gelling, but then he started bailing on me. three times in less than 24 hours he dropped out of conversations asking if he could call me back, but never did.
there is more, nothing earth shattering, but indicative to the fact that he was either unprepared or unwilling to enter into the kind of relationship i am looking for. when i very diplomatically(really, i was)told him how i felt about what he was doing he replied "i think for now we should just be friends". WHATEVER! so what? basic expectations send you crying like a little baby?
there are many things about his life right now that i know would make any relationship difficult, but my thing is this: you are an adult, you know what is going on-dont make promises you cant keep! big or small, it doesnt matter. dont expect a woman you claim to be interested in to put up with your crap. accept you arent ready and dont entertain relationships until you are.


  1. Well put. He sounds like he's got a lot of growing up to do. Start fishing outside the kiddie pool.

  2. thanks for saying so. sometimes it seems like i run into this stuff so much that i start to think i am the idiot.
    funny thing is, he is 10 years older than me. kiddie pool. classic.

  3. thanks. it was a drag, but its ok. no tears, no heartbreak, just aggravation.