you may remember shy guy, a high school crush who friended me on facebook a few months ago. we hadnt im'd since that time, but had commented on each others walls here and there. during a brief im conversation yesterday shy guy managed to give me the best compliment i have ever received. i didnt think to copy the actual conversation so i will do my best to recreate it here:
smc: how are you?
shy guy: good, how are you?
blah, blah, blah boring small talk
i dont know what brought the conversation around to the fact that he used to dj church dances, but...
smc: you dj'd dances?
shy guy: yeah, i used to see how many times i could play relax by frankie goes to hollywood before the chaperones would catch on and get mad at me and tell me i couldnt play it anymore.
smc: thats hilarious. the dances really werent my scene, but if i knew you were the dj, i would have showed up with a lighter and swayed in front of the turntable. i bet i would have gotten kicked out really fast.
shy guy: lol. yeah proabably.
smc: can you just imagine what they would say to me as they walked me out of the cultural hall? "smc, we thought you were such a nice girl. what happened?"
shy guy: i always thought you were nice.
smc: thanks. i was. kind of. but it was annoying. mainly to boyfriends.
shy guy: you just didnt have the right boyfriends.
smc: maybe. i found out later that there were a couple of nice guys who were too shy or too intimidated to ask.
(this is true and shy guy was one of the 3 or 4 i was talking about, but i wasnt referring to him alone. after i hit 'enter' i thought it was a mistake. maybe a bit inappropriate to be saying to a married man)
shy guy: we all make mistakes and wish we could do things over. regrets.
shy guy: well i gotta go. nice talking to you
(at this point i am really thinking that i made a huge mistake making the nice guy comment. like i was trying to take him down our very short memory lane. i wasnt, but it sure looked like it.)
i felt a little sick to my stomach. i would never want to offend him or make him feel uncomfortable. i couldnt just leave it. i had to explain. apologize. i agonized for about 3 minutes.
smc: are you still there?
shy guy: i am still here
smc: did i make you at all uncomfortable?
shy guy: not at all. why would you say that?
smc: i know we had high school crushes on each other, but i wasnt specifically referring to that. i apologize.
wait for it, here it comes
shy guy: smc, there is nothing you could do or say that would ever lower my opinion of you.
wasnt that great? it made me so happy to hear him say that. we have had 0 contact in 22 years, yet the good things still stand. they still matter. i thought it a huge compliment.
smc: thanks. i think that is one of the best compliments i have ever received.
shy guy: you are the best girlfriend i never had.
i dont know why this exchange touched me so much, but it made my day. i think it has something to do with someone still recognizing the real me. the original me, untouched by the troubled times we all face in adulthood. it felt really good. thanks shy guy!