Sunday, March 28, 2010

faux pas-almost

a few hours before church started, i needed to run some paperwork down the the rs president and on my way there i saw the high priest group leader walking down the road towards the building.
my first reaction was to offer him a ride,but when i rolled the window down i just teased him that he was going to be late. why didnt i offer the ride? for one, he is an old school guy and walks to church every sunday. he would never take it because he likes the walk. secondly he couldnt take it because its just not done.
it has been advised from the pulpit that married men and women should not be alone with anyone of the opposite sex. ever. personally i think this is wise counsel and i am not here to contradict it in any way. we have all heard the stories about bishops and relief society presidents who "fall" into a sinful and life destroying choice. this seemingly hyper-strict direction takes all grey area out of the matter.
the modern girl in me struggles with this a little. when i met gbf, we were working together and started having lunch. msof was not a member, but horribly jealous. the only loop hole was that gbf was gay. no risk of sexual involvement. msof still didnt like it, but that was homophobia, not jealousy. a couple of men i have dated took issue with me hanging out alone with gbf- one was particularly adamant, but i figure gbf gets male family member status.
now that i am single, i have to be careful. stuff like touching a mans arm as you talk to him(that would be ok in almost any social situation)is completely off limits. there is no way i would ever put myself in any situation where i could be accused of flirting or being too friendly with any man in my ward.
i know. seems so very puritanical, but better safe than sorry. avoid the appearance of evil and all that good stuff.
what do you guys think? is the church just too uptight or dead on with this counsel?


  1. I agree with you. Better being too safe than sorry later.

  2. an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure! just weird sometimes. i am not THAT kind of flirty girl with married men, but i have worked with men for so long that its easy for me to talk to them as a peer. sometimes shifting gears is annoying to me, but right is right and i am not going to get all bitter about it. lol

  3. I think the church is way too uptight on this. I know I know, avoid even the appearance of evil. But still, where do you draw the line? What if he were hurt and needed a hospital? Surely that would be ok to be alone in a car with him. What if he were hurt but didn't need a hospital? Just because a guy and a girl are alone in a vehicle does not automatically mean they are going to start committing adultery. That is absurd. I think each person should use their own judgment for the particular situation to decide whether it is appropriate or not.

  4. Having recently found out my husband was having an affair, I agree with the Church's standing completely 100%. These guidelines are there to protect us, not be uptight. My husband said it all went downhill when they started talking without me knowing, nothing bad, just talking, things escalated from there. Evil has a good way of masking itself in innocent things. Keep yourself safe, rather than sorry...