so......

i didnt go to the dance. there are a couple of pretty good reasons why, like it was at a church that would take me an hour to get there and the fact that i hated the band that was playing the gig. all things i could have overcome, but decided to bail. still procrastinating posting a profile on ldsmingle or planet. sigh. sometimes i wonder if the issue is mine and the situation would change with an attitude adjustment OR i sometimes consider that i am ABSOLUTELY, 100% RIGHT to stay away from all that stuff. i am racking my brain for any real success story showing that a relationship between two "faithful" lds was forged at a dance or on the internet. i need some examples to build my faith(not really faith, then is it?). anyone KNOW of any couple who is happily married that met at a dance or on the internet? lets hear it!

lesser of the two evils.

sooooooooooo. been playing with the idea of of breaking the dating hiatus, but not sure how to do it. i think calling mr jack mormon is just a bad idea all around, but that would be a gimme. creating a profile on an lds dating site seems like an effort in futility, BUT based on previous experience i could probably get "out there" pretty quick. the other option is a sa activity. bear with me as i retch. ok, we all know it wouldnt be THAT bad, but maybe if i was able to muster up a pioneer,can-do attitude it would be a great experience. yeah right. sorry. forgot about the can do attitude. funny enough, an old friend(i have to write a post about her,she did some crazy stuff, but seems happy now) that got married about a year ago asked me to meet her at a sa dance because her husband is playing the event. to me, this has trouble written all over it. even though i named three "evils", i am taking mr jack mormon out of the running and boiling it down to either going to the dance or creating the profile. not that either would be a means to an end, just thinking its time to do something. any thoughts? suggestions? opinions?

smart girl or bad attitude part two

well...you know mormons. the blessing was said and the feasting began. the food smelled wonderful, but i was waiting on a girl from my ward to show up with her "friend" so i would have at least one familiar dinner companion. a few people dropped by the lounge area to encourage me to jump into the buffet line. they seemed suspicious of my explanation of why i wasnt running right over. the girl from my ward showed up dressed as a renaissance witch with her "friend" who was the devil on vacation(think a little red makeup, horns, and a hawaiian shirt). she makes the introductions and we headed to the buffet line.

the food was good, but conversation difficult. apparently the devil was nearly deaf due to damage to his hearing from his job so the ren witch had to keep leaning over to him and repeating whatever i said to keep him in the conversation. he was a very nice man, but i was really questioning his "friend" status with ren witch. he never left her side and when the dinner tables were removed to provide more room for dancing, he stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. to me, this is not friend behavior. was she trying to keep it low key, worried that i would rat her out to the ward? i had to find out of course, so the next time the devil turned away for a minute i asked her. turns out he is 57 years old(shes 31), a widower, and would put a ring on it if she would go for it. the reason she wont allow it is that he refuses to join the church and doesnt want any more kids. she had him sign up for great expectations so he can find an appropriate companion while she continues to search for her peter priesthood. not sure how that works since she spends a lot of time snuggled up with the devil.

my "service" required me to move around the room a lot(no, i was not busting up couples dancing too close or making out in classrooms), so i was able to really take in the atmosphere. harem girl danced all night, but not with any guys. looked like her partner of choice was the pioneer girl. i dont think i ever saw the clown on the dance floor, but her friend, the sister missionary was out there several times with different guys. come to think of it, i didnt see tron guy on the floor either. mabye if i WAS on kissing detail, i would have busted the two of them making out in a dark classroom. theres a thought. i was surprised by how many couples there were. i got the vibe that a few were exclusive. personally, i dont think going to a singles activity is a good date. why would you come to a dance to snuggle in the lounge area when you could have a romantic evening at home? probably a tactic to keep things zipped up, but still.

despite my "good" attitude and open mind, the single adult scene and my perception of it remains unaltered. i wandered around for a bit more, wrapping up my "service", and trying to take in details so that i could blog them. i was also looking for anything or anyone that might deviate from what has become the norm in this mormon subculture. no luck. i was relieved that a few(all guys, of course)"got" my costume. one actually walked away singing "simply irresistable" . i have to make one correction to my initial statement about nothing being changed. i did notice two men who were quite the gentlemen, asking all the girls to dance. that was sweet.

i have been asked what i would do to change things, but i really dont have many ideas. sometimes i think the whole program should just be done away with. is it really effective? once you are kicked out of ysa and are in that outer darkness of 31 and over singles, how many people find their eternal companions in this program? i would love to hear from anyone who has a success story.

smart girl or bad attitude?

i talked to my mom just as i was walking out the door to go to the sa halloween dinner/dance. she pleaded with me to go with an open mind and a good attitude. SHE is really hoping that i meet my dream man at some church related function. she truly believes that all seemingly happy lds couples meet at those type of activities. sigh. i really did go with an open mind, but from the onset.....it was a mess. first of all, i was given the wrong directions to the church building. when i call the girl who asked me to serve at this shindig, she sweetly apologizes and tells me she is running an HOUR late and suggested i find something to do in the meantime. knowing that she is kind of flaky, i returned a hour and 15 minutes later, but she still hadnt arrived. she ended up being an hour and a half late. i think we can all agree that goes way beyond mormon standard time , but i go in and get started. unlike most functions of this nature, the cultural hall was decorated beautifully with elaborate fall and halloween type decorations. there didnt seem to be a lot going on, but i jumped in where i could. there was a lot of down time. dinner was scheduled to be served at 7, but the kitchen crew was still discussing the pros and cons of having a separate drink table. a lone sister arrived on time, spotted me in the "lounge area" and came right over to introduce herself. she was dressed(modestly)as some sort of harem girl or belly dancer. she was asian with a heavy accent and i had a difficult time understanding her over the dj's sound check, but what i was able to get was she was from hong kong and that she has been here for 16 years and was currently studying dance. she told me how much she liked belly dancing. i am in rs president mode, trying to fellowship, but i feel trapped. people start trickling in, wearing a variety of costumes. this one walked up to me and the harem girl. to be fair, he really wasnt dressed as a tron guy. his outfit was black, but had similar designs all over it. the mystery was solved when a middle aged woman dressed as a rainbow clown along with her friend, the sister missionary walked up like they were approaching the coolest guy in high school. he explained in detail that he was wearing his paint ball suit, demonstrating all the different attachments, pockets, and straps. after getting him to promise to dance with each of them that night, they scampered off. harem girl seems kind of stunned. chatty before, she is now mute. tron guy tries to make conversation(at this point harem girl takes off without uttering a word)by asking me a few questions. i answer politely and even offer a few things to the conversation, but i am careful not to flirt in any way. since the adoration of his fan club was lacking in me, he soon lost interest and took his leave without even saying a polite good bye. more people are arriving and the costumes run from ridiculous to truly original. the food is being brought out and a handful of people rush up to the table and start serving themselves. no welcome. no opening prayer. nothing. the dj finally notices people eating, stops the music, and quickly asks someone to offer an opening prayer and blessing on the food. to be continued....