Monday, November 8, 2010


i am a klutz and have zero athletic talent. maybe juggling really wouldnt be considered athletic, but the point i am making is that i am horrible. literally and figuratively.
when i checked my email saturday morning, i had a notice from the lds dating website telling me that i had an email waiting. i went to check it out and was pleasantly surprised to read a lovely email from a very nice man in california. he was still logged on, so he initiated a chat with me. we were having a lovely get to know you chat when some jerk comes on claiming we knew each other and was super high pressure for me to meet him for lunch. all attempts to nicely give him "the hint" was completely lost on him, so i finally had to get rude, but it took about 20 min to get there and in the meantime, i am still chatting with mr california and then both tom and dick start texting me. ITS JUST TOO MUCH.
not to pat my own back, but i think i handled it quite well. i started getting a bit stressed out-i could feel some anxiety rearing its ugly head, but when i got rid of the rude jerk, i was able to sweetly end the chat with mr california and then negotiating the texts with tom and dick was a piece of cake.
at this point in the game, i feel no obligation to either tom or dick to clue them in on the others existence, but i think both are at a point where that could shift quickly and some discussions would have to take place. i dread that. i would almost rather one of them decide that i wasnt worth the trouble and disappear rather than have to be the one to deal with it all.
tom seems pretty level headed. he wants to meet me and see what happens, but i dont think he has any expectations beyond that he thinks i am cute and will probably want to kiss me. which i am ok with.
dick, on the other hand, seems to like me a lot more. i like him too, but there are other complications that i will get into on a future post.
this could get hairy. deep breath. I AM IN CONTROL.
any ideas? anyone have some recent experience with this type of juggling stuff? i could use all the help i can get.


  1. also, you have no obligation to the jerk who thought he knew you. Ignore and/or block!

  2. I think it would be helpful to let each of them know that you are talking to others and are still playing the field, so no commitment yet. Then once you have spent time together with the guys you can decide which one(s) you want to continue things with.

  3. i dont give specifics, but they both know i am dating. i dont think tom is too concerned, but i think dick is too scared to ask.
    i need to get more cut throat with the jerks. i still attempt to be nice, but i should just end it fast. the conversations, that is.

  4. Wow, that's not a bad problem to have!

    When my husband and I were first getting to know each other - before we went exclusive - he was also getting to know another wonderful girl, though I didn't know it at the time. He's a pretty good multi-tasker. When he eventually told me about her, he explained that there was a point he had to make a decision and choose between us, and he broke the poor girl's heart.

    He told me that as both of us were clearly headed in the direction of exclusivity, he had to weigh the little information he had and move in one direction, the one he figured was the best and not look back. There was once in our relationship where he wasn't sure that he'd made the right choice, but his explaining to me what he had chosen to give up to be with me helped me appreciate what I had even more and made me ever more determined to make our relationship worth his while.

  5. fei-i am not built for dealing with this, but at this point, i figure i am kind of playing the odds. by dating more men, i am increasing my chances of finding a good one. a keeper.