Saturday, June 18, 2011

ah-ha moment? maybe not.

i havent been posting about it too much, but i have kind of thrown myself into some single adult activities. by thrown in, i mean i have gone to a few dances and a ton of firesides, which is way up from the nothing i used to do.
i have met some people, had a few dates, but i kind of had an ah-ha moment while emailing back and forth a man i met at these activities.
the only lds guys that are marriage material, have a brain in their head, a sense of humor, and seem to operate on somewhat of an adult level, dont want to get married because they have been burned so bad by their previous relationships, their intelligence keeps them from getting too involved.
all the other guys-either never been married or just too clueless too care, are chomping at the bit to get married because they just want SOMEONE, they dont really care who it is. maybe they were the jerk who cause the disintegration of their relationship, but are too narcissistic to realize it, blaming it on their ex and just moving on to prey(strong word, i know)on someone else.
i know i say this about most stuff, but if find this realization very depressing. the odds just continue to be stacked against us normal(somewhat)girls.
the man i referred to earlier in this post, is reasonably attractive, nice, very funny, and smart. if he asked me out, i would go, but i dont think he ever will because i am not one of the goofy girls who hang out at the dances. he keeps it light. he attends for entertainment. i attend because its the last stone left unturned. unfortunately, under that stone is just a bunch of yucky worms.
so if online dating didnt work and now participating in single adult activities isnt working. what else is there?


  1. It is a frustrating truth, that middle singles groups as a whole, leave a lot to be desired. A large part of the population is not nearly as ready as they suppose. A large segment has been badly burned and has not healed enough, or gained enough courage to try it again.

    Frankly, the whole situation demands a lot of maturity and emotional strength. I am opinionated enough to say what ought to be done, but I just don't know.

    Personally, I find the dances too wearying to attend. The firesides at least don't wear me down.

  2. i sometimes think the whole system needs to be revamped, but to what?
    i think many depend on a new relationship to heal them, but that rarely, if ever works.
    i really enjoy the firesides. the dances are just...weird. i have had a friend who has wanted to go and i went and i will admit that i had some fun here and there, but for the most part, it was exactly as i imagined it.

  3. This stuff leaves me in that oddly mixed place where I'm thinking "Hey, a guy like me has a shot, then," followed by "....unless I'm one of the guys she's describing and don't realize it."

    Maybe I'll look over my divorce papers and see what needs to be changed in them. Maybe tomorrow.

  4. if you decide to go over your divorce papers, change them and file-will you go to dances and firesides? join an online dating site?

  5. Dances and firesides? Probably. Dunno about online dating sites.

  6. all i have to say is be careful. i actually have a lot more to say, but i am not the boss of you and you are a smart guy and you will figure it out, i am sure.

  7. We could talk about it -- that would be fine -- but it'll make more sense when I'm there. I'm actually on one dating site, but I went there for the quizzes -- I didn't know it was a dating site until I was there. So I've made it clear in my profile my status, and have been blunt enough that I haven't gotten many responses (and I hardly go there anymore -- quizzes got to be less interesting).

    Unfortunately, it would be convenient for me to get married this coming spring, which is faster than I would want to get married. But, for now, first things need to be first, and getting the divorce done is a first thing.

  8. you would be breaking your own rules if you got married in the spring!! ;-P
    yes. first things first. no good comes of putting the cart before the horse.