stranger in a strange land

although leaning toward the dramatic, i think its an interesting commentary-especially now that i have spent the better part of a year participating in more single adult activities that i ever have before. the women who get the majority of the attention at these things are literally the exact opposite of me. i am a stranger in a strange land and i am taking the next space ship i can find outta here.

choose

woman a:
long blonde(bottle)hair
tan(skin showing the sun damage looks older than her real age)
lots of makeup
6+ kids
petite(short and tiny)
divorced 3+


woman b:
brunette
fair skin, looks younger than her age
wears natural looking make up
divorced 1x
no kids

think jessica simpson, but older and lucy lawless(xena, warrior princess). i am trying to paint a picture and i feel like i am failing miserably.
this is not about competing. i understand that we all have our "things" that we are attracted to.



but i am just wondering why xena(these are not literal comparisons) gets no attention and jessica gets it all?

mr new guy, the king of mixed signals

(a post i wrote weeks ago, but never published. thought it might be interesting considering the "croc incident".) mr new guy has given me many subtle and not so subtle indicators that he is interested in me. when in a small group, he often mentions how he is not dating right now. the single scene is too crazy. or so he says.
i do not chase nor compete. when he figures it out he can call me. in the meantime, i enjoy his company when i am around him and enjoy semi regular facebook and email correspondence with him.
today it all came crashing down. he emailed me asking me about another woman. what the heck? we emailed back and forth as i told him what little i knew about her. then there was something that seemed to me that needed to be conveyed over the phone so i gave him my number and asked him to call. he called in 2.7 seconds. we spoke for 2 hrs, 5 minutes of which was devoted to discussing the other woman.
i really enjoyed our conversation. he is interesting and fun. irreverent in such a way that i truly appreciate, but a few things stand out:
he asked very little about me. i am not even talking about dating behavior, i am just talking about good conversation skills. his saving grace is that he is entertaining as hell.
i have been reading "he's just not that into you" again and this just screams that he is not that into me, but it bugs me that he asked me about this other woman. i like her. she is super cool and i told him so. i just wanted him to like me. then again, do i? i dont know all that much about him and he could be a complete train wreck. i think its time for some self introspection and get over this need to have him like me especially since i dont know how interested i would be in him.
maybe i am the one delivering the mixed signals.

the set up and the spark

soooooooo.....i went out with a dear friend yesterday. i love her and she literally lives 5 minutes away from me, but we only get together about 3 times a year to do lunch and have a gab(gossip) fest.
the last time we met, she was telling me about her neighbor that just moved in-super nice, funny, and TALL. he asked her if she knew any nice women that she would set him up with. she laughed and told him yes, but they are all lds. him, being a non member, shrugged his shoulders and said "what can you do?"
my interest was sparked because she never brings men up to me at all. if she likes this guy and thinks he is quality-then he must be a great guy. she lives next door, so i am sure she would have seen some red flags by now, right?
at the time, i didnt think much of it. she dismissed him as a non member and i was only one of a handful of girls that she would consider introducing him to.
today at lunch she says to me "i have got to set you up with my neighbor-he is fantastic!"
she explained that she thought he would be open to investigating the church and that he was a really good guy who had a great sense of humor.
as previously stated, i would normally shoot this kind of thing down right away, but i think i shocked her a little bit when i told her to go for it.
who knows if she will, but i put it "out there" that i am open to it.
funny how i was talking about there are few people i would trust to set me up, but she is definitely one of them.

deal breaker? am i a complete snob?

no. i know i am not. anyone who saw me typing up this post in my ratty work out track pants with the old t-shirt with bleach stains on the sleeve, would agree. do i wear this get up out? no, i do not. it is strictly reserved for house cleaning and sporadic workouts. how do you feel about crocs? i personally love them. i think it is the most recent incarnation of the ugly, but comfortable and "healthy" for your foot shoe. i have a few pair, but again, i dont wear them OUT. have you noticed i havent really mentioned mr new guy? i was kind of ashamed to say why. i met him for dinner(it was a small group of us) and he was wearing crocs. black ones. disney style. the croc holes were in the shape of mickey's head. the original color was black with a red strap, but they were incredibly faded. i immediately stopped seeing him as any sort of potential romantic possibility. is that wrong?

trickery

i tricked mr ex man and i think i have gotten him out of my life for good. part of the reason i was asking about temptation was because mr ex man was trying to tempt me with all kinds of unrighteous, carnal type things. there was a time that this might have been a temptation for me because i was soooooo in looooooooooove with him. i like to think that i would ultimately resist, but it would have been a temptation nonetheless. now there is zero temptation with mr ex man. i mean none. its kind of weird and i know he did not like it, but those are the breaks. oh yeah. the trick. soooooooo. it was kind of accidental on my part, but it worked and that is all that counts. mr ex man has always insisted he could never let me go entirely. i used to think this was so romantic and interpreted to mean that he was so madly in love with me that he would make the necessary changes to make our relationship work. never happened, but he refused to just go away. the trick was he got mad at me and said he would never see me again. i jumped on it and said so sweetly, "mr ex man, we did it! we agreed to never see each other again. yeah for us!" i hung up and when he started calling over the next few days, i just ignored him. ignored the texts. its been quiet for a while now. i think its sticking!!! yeah for us. yeah for me. it feels good to be done. truly. sigh. :)

temptation

what tempts you and how do you resist? is it food? sex? money?

am i being punked?

i went to a dance. i hope your food storage and 72 hr kits are in order because this certainly is a sign of the apocalypse. i dance with one man who was seriously old enough to be my father. not kidding. not exaggerating. i turned down one man who was probably 6 inches shorter than me. the music was pretty good and some friends were there, so while i hung out, there were friendly faces and some good conversation. not to mention the snacks-yummy food was abundant. i spoke with a few people by the dj stand and then realizing i needed a break, i stepped out into the foyer and there were a few people sitting there chatting, including one man that i had met a few weeks before. SIDE NOTE: i have put off writing this post because i could not figure out a pc way to describe this man. i havent figured out how to do it, so i am just going to say it straight. i think this man was in a horrible accident. he has obvious physical disabilities(that he valiantly works around)and i am fairly certain he probably had a traumatic head injury. there is some obvious disconnect. social filters were missing. anyway, i came out into the foyer and along with this man, there were 2 other people i had met that night and we chatted pleasantly. the man started coughing really bad and when it subsided, i asked "are you ok?" he replied he was fine, that it was just a lagging cough from a cold he had a few weeks back. he then proceeded to wipe his mouth, pulled his hand away with a fist full of phlegm and leaned over to scrape his hand against the edge of the waste basket. in front of us all. he never excused himself or went to the mens room to wash his hands. i swear. hand to heaven.

crazy busy, but getting very little done. i hate it, but its the story of my life. i have made changes over the past few years that have cut my procrastination tendencies by about 1/3. truly a miracle. now i need to work better at scheduling so i dont have a weekend like i am going to have this weekend. i think it will be mostly fun, but sad too. my niece is going away to college and there are 2 family gatherings for that. a big favor for a friend, some shopping, and an actual single adult activity.considering everything else, i would have bailed on the activity, but i was part of the planning committee and have some obligations there. oh yeah-an impromptu birthday lunch for another friend. its going to be busy and hopefully productive. when its all over, i have to schedule september within an inch of its life or else i will loose track of everything and be in big, fat trouble. i would like to schedule some dates, but at this point, i dont see that happening. well maybe, but its not with anyone i am really interested in. is it ok to go out with someone just for fun? taking into consideration the over 40 desperation to get married and he likes me way more that i like him. i have been honest, but,,,,