ok. dealing with relationship drama and watching http://www.hesjustnotthatintoyoumovie.com/
is a mistake. i had read the book way before mr nice guy or mr ex man ever came into my life. it makes good sense. really good, solid sense. i saw myself in the movie and i hated it. spinning all the stupid stuff mr ex man does or says. waiting for him to get past his pain, fear, and anger and be the man he was meant to be. he's just not that into me. if he was, he would make it happen. tell his kids what's what-put the ex wife in her place and get his ass to my town and make it all up to me. i dont for a second claim perfection. i certainly caved into to fear and insecurity. said some things i regret, but not on his level. really. he blames me. i will probably give more detail as the mood strikes,but for now i am profoundly sad. deleted all saved emails and youtube playlists. digging for the courage to throw away the dried flowers from my birthday boquet and the boxes from the chocolates he gave me. not sure why those things are so difficult. maybe because it will take more than hitting a delete button.