i am not making this s*#t up

sooooooooo, i am not even logged into yahoo messenger and when i get home from whatever i was doing the other night(cant remember)there was an im waiting for me. the name seemed familiar(lets call him joe blow), but i couldnt place him. the message just said "hey. remember me?" i really didnt despite all the racking of my brain, but the name did sound familiar, so i replied "i think so, but its been a long time, right?"
he didnt answer back(not sure how long his im had been sitting there, i had been gone all evening.)and i went on with my night. i kept trying to place who he was when it hit me like a ton of bricks who he was. i was kind of happy about it because it was a guy(about 10 years older than me)that i had dated a few times, we got a long great, and things were starting to go somewhere when he called to tell me that he was getting excommunicated for THE SECOND TIME. i had never heard of anyone getting excommunicated TWICE. what the heck? he was really honest and explained it all very nicely. he still wanted to see me, but would understand if i didnt. i told him i would have to think about it and i would get back to him.
i got some input from some trusted friends and decided that i could date him with reservation. lol. with reservation. what i mean is that since he would be excommunicated twice for the same sin he wouldnt be in the market for a temple marriage for a while and dating him for fun would be ok, but it couldnt get serious.
he was handsome, fun, and kind of an old-school gentleman. i really liked him
so i told him i would go out with him and he was pretty happy about it and invited me over. then he called to cancel. the reason why is stupid, but lets just say he didnt think he could restrain himself with me. WHATEVER.
since i solved the mystery i went back to our chat and typed "i remember now!"
just in time for him to type some details about himself that made me realize who he really was and not who i thought he was.
i met mr joe blow on one of the dating sites-he was from my hometown where there is not a huge lds population. turns out he converted as an adult and seemed to have a really solid testimony. he had moved away, but was getting ready to move back to our hometown. i was getting ready to go for a visit, so it all seemed quite fortuitous.
then he started to tell me that before he joined the church he was a shaman for an indian tribe(not making this up, i swear)and explained about the peyote, the visions, and the healing. apparently he still had visions despite he had given up peyote because of his testimony of the word of wisdom.
so i was disappointed that is wasnt the handsome old guy that i know i would have a good date with. no. its the peyote weirdo.
i swear i am a MAGNET.