self indulgent pity party

this is one thing i hate about being single.no one to cry to in bed at night.i hate seeing myself type those words. seems weak, but its the truth and what else is a blog for if its not the ugly truth? i generally dont mind being single. rather be single than in a bad or even mediocre marriage, but i am really gaining emphathy for women(or men for that matter)who choose the wrong person for themselves just to have a warm body next to them in bed.or pay bills.or sit next to in church.just to have someone THERE.i should have been married over the summer. plans all in place.i think i dodged a bullet, but i am having trouble letting go of the dream of who i thought he was. why do we try to trick and fool each other so badly?i feel myself heading for a total baby fit and i am not ready for that. even in a blog. sigh