soooo tired

i have been sick for the last few days. i hate being sick. especially this kind. super tired, cant move, only get up to pee and sip a little water. i am starting to come out of it, but it sure sucks. i have friends and family who would all be happy to bring me soup and ginger ale,but dont we all want that special SOMEONE to gladly bring it to us because they picked us, not because they got stuck by some freak accident of birth? mr ex-man called me today. i didnt tell him i was sick. i have been thinking about that. is it because i fear appearing weak or flawed? or is it more like i dont think i could depend on him for comfort? tough questions to ponder. i hate that.