mr ex man

i remember years ago reading a quote that said something like this: the opposite of love is not hate,its indifference. its really hitting home with mr ex man. i hate him. i love him. no one has inspired such euphoria or rage in me. ever. long distance relationships suck. i never really thought that until him. relationship dysfunction takes on a whole new facet when distance is a factor. we have been reduced to fighting via text. we hardly ever speak. of course we get nowhere.i have never argued so much and gotten nowhere.he can be such a jerk. i am sure he thinks i can be equally jerky.all this nightmarish stuff goes through my head. he still loves his ex.he will always say no to me.he will allow his kids to ruin our relationship.it has been almost a year since we have seen each other. he is less than 2 hrs away by plane. as i type this, i see how ridiculous it is. why am i even hanging on? i had a confirmation. aaaahhhhhh-the confirmation. this is mormonspeak for God personally speaking to you. not moses on mount sinai speaking, but speaking nonetheless. mr ex man says he had the confirmation too. he now calls it the curse. sweet, eh?