Sunday, July 5, 2009

miracles and fasting

i am hoping my fast will bring about some miracles, but the obvious miracle today had nothing to do with my empty, growling tummy. mr boring, but nice was in church again today with his new girlfriend. i was jealous. not in the way you are thinking. not jealous of her, wanting him. jealous of them. they were a few pews up, so i had a clear view of them leaning into each other, her scratching and rubbing his back. sigh. i want that. i really do. to have someone to sit with me in church. who wants to be there. i got a chance to talk to her after rs today. she is so nice, so sweet and i can tell she really likes him. we all deserve that. she also told me that he speaks highly of me and really respects me. that made me so happy to hear. we only went on a few dates,but its nice to have made an impression. one mans trash is another mans treasure. boring to me can be completely facinating to someone else and apparrently it is. the whole trash/treasure thing is interesting when it comes to people. i said that to mr ex man after he had deluged me with all my faults and how i wasnt worthy to be with him or his children. that hurt. even lies can hurt when they are hurtled at you with such force and such venom. he had no reply. he seldom does, especially when i am making a valid point that contradicts what he is saying.

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