and it keeps getting worse

man. i am sick of being pissed off. you think that i would just take control of this. do some serious praying or SOMETHING. its like i just get over one thing and i just get pissed off about another. my life is not what i want it to be. so change it, right? EVERYTHING i have tried ends in failure. or some degree of failure. then i stumble upon some information about other women who are living the life i want to be living. the life i planned. the life that i worked hard to live worthy of. why am i not getting these blessings? trying to find the lesson. trying to find the lesson. so sick of freakin lessons!!!