still pissed off

so much crap is happening. something critical to my work(my limping along,salad days, work)is broken down and in the shop. dont know if it will be able to be repaired or how much it will cost. the check engine light came on in my car. i am not feeling well. some family issues are bubbling up(not mine to share,so "tick a lock") ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! my heart hurts. i am trying to use "the secret" and of course, pray without ceasing, having faith, believing i will receive......my heart hurts. i hate being here. i feel so out of control and alone. this is where the anger comes in.....a lot of things that i am dealing with...if i was married and had that support.....it woujld be so much easier. i could use a shoulder to cry on. i need some arms around me. part of me wants to call mr nice guy,but that is pointless. i want to pick a fight with mr ex man., but that is even more pointless. the tears are welling up, but i am shoving them down. pointless as well. why is this soooooo hard? i just want to bail. oh yeah. i need a root canal.