Tuesday, August 25, 2009
i have never subscribed to the "lets be friends" theory of breaking up. its a cop out, usually meaning someone doesnt want to invest in a relationship,but isnt willing to do the dirty work of fully breaking up and moving on, keeping the person on stand by just in case. there are exceptions of course. maybe you just went on a few dates and realized IT just wasnt there, so you stop dating, but remain friendly. stuff like that. i dont get people who get divorced and say "we get along better now than when we were married". if you can manage to be friends, why couldnt you do it to save your marriage? when i invited mr soldier of fortune to leave our home and filed divorce papers, i knew i would never speak to him again. i was done. we didnt have children to keep us connected and he was a big jerk. a liar and a cheat. why would i invest anything in any sort of friendship with him? people still ask me how often i speak with my ex husband and seem surprised when i tell them never. i didnt even speak to him in court. he waited for me and tried to talk to me, but i acted as if he was invisible. mr ex man's latest ploy was to ask me to be his friend. "lets be friends and see if we can build our broken relationship back up". he got so mad when i refused. i saw it as a loop hole to keep contact, but not have to do the work of mending what was broken. i hated that he considered me deficient because i "couldnt" be friends. i could be friends. i chose not to. he wasnt friendly. he wasnt a friend to me in any way, shape, or form. in a nutshell, i think the "lets be friends" things is b.s.
Posted by noyb at 8:13 AM