Tuesday, August 4, 2009

is sex the only test?

i could be wrong. maybe its just the men that i have encountered. i dont know, but is sex the only thing they care about? there is some scientific evidence that supports that theory(check out this awesome book) , but i am here to say, "guys, come on! that sexy girl could be lacking in so many ways that will bump sex down to the bottom of your priority list so fast you wont know what hit you". i know, i know, good sex(heck, even mediocre sex) can be a great cure for many ails, but will it solve everything? no!
someone i know, divorced with 2 kids, met and married a man she met after a few years on the sa circut. she had met some creeps, managed to dodge those bullets and found the man of her dreams. they waited until their wedding night to consummate their relationship, but guess what? dream man couldnt get it up. thats right, erectile dysfunction. he knew, but never told her, all the while pretending to be the righteous peter priesthood who was on the law of chastity train right along side of her. freaking fakeout! i am not suggesting that men with ed should not get married or arent worthy of love. of course they are and there is help and treatments available, but if he had told her they could have faced that challenge together and had a much more fulfilling wedding night. the whole thing caused a lot of avoidable drama in the first few years of their marriage.
i came to my wedding night pretty innocent. i was lucky to have parents who answered questions, i knew the basics, but i was scared. it was all so unknown, i hadnt even petted, heavy or otherwise. the jerk i divorced is not the same man i married. he was sweet and patient. it took me about 3 months to shift gears and really enjoy that aspect of my marriage. so much of sex is instinctual, but so much more can be taught. whether by an experienced spouse or just learning together by trial and error. trying it before you buy it does not insure an awesome sex life, but following the commandments equips you with the skills necessary to face the challenges in your marriage. trust me, sometimes sex will be the furthest thing from your mind. hard to believe, but its true. i swear.

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