Sunday, January 31, 2010
what the....
"a single sister in her forties" was used as an example of an unusual circumstance where the full time missionaries would need assistance from the ward members. he said it as a joke and it got quite a laugh. as the single membership in the church continues to grow and the accepted fact that the women far out number the men-is this funny? i havent decided. what do you think?
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I guess I don't get why the full time missionaries would need assistance from the ward members other than the fact that the missionaries aren't to be alone with women. And secondly, why is that funny? Was he trying to say that the missionaries aren't safe with a single woman in her forties? I've heard married women in the church talk about not feeling comfortable with never married women talking to their husband. Like we are going to try to tempt them or something.
ReplyDeleteGuess I don't get the joke either. Was he trying to say its usual for a sister to be single in her forties? I don't think its as unusual as we might think but staying active in the church with those characteristics seems to be more unusual.
Was this said in your ward? To me, this is not funny at all. I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteI thought I remember hearing a statistic that there are just as many single sisters in the church as married. I don't think that is funny.
ReplyDeleteNot funny
ReplyDeletei thought it was church-wide, but maybe its a stake thing-they are really promoting the every member a missionary theme. each ward in our stake has a goal of a certain number of baptisms in their ward boundaries. goal sheets with "tips" on how to be a good friend and neighbor were passed out. a sign up sheet was also passed around for people who would be willing to go with the missionaries to be present and bear their testimonies on the discussion being taught to a specific investigator. the "40 yr old single sister" thing came up as an example of a possible situation that 19-21 yr old elders would have a hard time relating to and would need a member to bridge the gap. the way the ward mission leader presented it was like it was such a far out example-like "are there any martians in the ward? we might need you if the missionaries start teaching an inter-galactic family". this kid(the ward mission leader)has no malice in him at all, he is just cluless. typical 24 yr old kid married seconds after he got home from his mission and his 22 yr old wife gave birth 9 months later.
ReplyDeleteps-thank you all for weighing in. i was in that weird place where i didnt think it was funny, but considering the source, i couldnt waste time being upset about it. i am known in my ward to be vocal in situations like this so a few people kind of leaned back to look at me to see what i would blurt out of my mouth. it happens rarely, but i kept my mouth shut.
ReplyDeleteThe Church doesn't know what to do with 40 year old single women, because it doesn't know. It doesn't know what to do with 40 year old single men because there aren't any around to speak of, and the solution it will give them is "Marry on eof the 40 year old single women, so we don't have as many around, and you're not single any more."
ReplyDeleteChurch leaders don't really have experience with being single, and priesthood leaders have no experience with being women, so their ability to relate is limited. If they're willing to talk about single sisters in a fashion that's remotely real, even if it's done in a joking fashion, that's progress that should be encouraged. Perhaps talking to the person who said that and offering some help in developing a response to this problem profile would help start a dialogue that could help break down some of the misunderstandings and false impressions that are going on.
jennvan- your comment about "tempting" the men in the ward reminded me of a meeting i was in where the leadership from the different auxiliaries were discussing the needs of the ward. we were discussing one sister who was going through a divorce and had 2 high maintenance kids. we(as the rs presidency)were saying we needed to get her HT over there(ht&vt numbers were embarrassingly low in our ward),thinking priesthood presence might help with the kids. ANYWAY, the EQP(funny guy, super nice)starts talking about how we need to assign her high priest HT because he was told as far as elders go, single sisters were "no touchy, no touchy." he actually wiggled his fingers in the air like the emperor from that disney movie! i asked him if he thought single sisters were sirens on the rocks luring the "sailor" elders to morally crash against the rocks of sin. i think he turned about 42 colors, settling on a shade of purple. i was so mad. i didnt act very Christ-like, but i really dont think stuff like that can be let go. maybe i am wrong and just need to learn to shut my mouth more. i just dont know.
ReplyDeleteblain-i think you are partially right, lack of experience and just plain ignorance is to blame. however i think its a lame excuse considering how the single adults is an ever growing demographic in the church. its just not that rare anymore(i used to be the only one in my ward. now i am 1 of 5 single women in their 40's). i can see some subtle changes as far as ward and stake leadership are concerned, but i think they are almost invisible to the actual single members. i think its a shift in how the leaders see it. a positive step, but i think it needs to be more.
hmmm ... my sister is a (now) 52 year old relief society president in her ward in Utah ... we have lots of single sisters serving in leadership positions in my stake (outside of utah). In fact, the stake primary president is a 40-something year old single sister with no children of her own. I think that overall, single sisters are starting to be integrated with the church. But, I do agree that most priesthood leaders are probably not as in-tune to the realities and issues as they need to be.
ReplyDeletethey are letting us infiltrate. ;)
ReplyDelete