Monday, January 18, 2010

when the world...

tilts on its axis and everything you know spills out, leaving your world empty and without color, what do you do? what can you do? hang on.
i have been shaken to the core and i am not sure where to start. i dont have it all organized in my mind, but i am trying to make order and figure out my place and what to do.
the things that have transpired in the last few days have not happened to me, but i am so close to the victims that it almost feels like it.
i know i am totally just rambling without giving much real information. its really big, dark, horrible stuff that scares the shit out of me. i normally know how to deal, but i am lost. its affecting me to the point the my heart is breaking and my head hurts.
this is the stuff that kills testimonies and souls could be lost. the adversary is tap dancing i am sure.
i feel like i just want to tell it all in technicolor detail, right here for the whole freakin world to see so i can purge all the ugliness i know out of me.
the word "why?!" keeps repeating over and over in my head.
as we all know, life will go on. i will post silly stories about my dates, recipies that i have made, and fun make up tips. hopefully it will work as a distraction.
if you ever feel like praying for a stranger, please pray for me and those that i love.


  1. Okay. Sorry bad stuff's going on. Keep breathing. It will get better.

  2. thanks for reminding me. i had forgot to keep breathing. seriously, i find myself holding my breath.
    thanks for dropping by. :)

  3. Hang in there kid! Keep breathing. Hang on a little bit longer! Read President Uchtdorf's message this month!

  4. anon-thanks for the suggestion. i read it and it did help. President Uchtdorf is the best.