i have been thinking a lot about what i want and why i am not getting it. maybe i am too hard to please. maybe i expect too much. maybe its true that i have a better chance of being killed in a terrorist attack than finding true love and getting married again. i dont know. i just know that i would like to find someone and i would like him to resemble something like this:
* = negotiable
smc's list of demands*
1)member of the church.
a trusted friend has mentioned to me that i should find a "convertible" non member and get him to join. his opinion is they are more faithful and dont come with a lot of the lds baggage i have been finding in my dating adventures since being divorced.
2)hold the Melchizedek priesthood.
i am almost to the point where high priests are going to be the bulk of my dating pool, but not quite yet.
3)no kids* in the lds world, this is not only just a fantasy, its a ridiculous dream. to find a man in my age bracket who does not have kids and is not gay would be a modern day miracle. i mention this because mr ex man had kids. it caused huge problems. they were avoidable(the problems,not the kids), but he was so wrapped up in the drama that he couldnt see the forest for the trees.
4)tall* at least 6'3" or taller. i have always maintained if the love of my life was a midget, it would not be a deal breaker, but i love tall. i am tall and its a romantic ideal of mine to be able to look UP into the face of my prince charming. i am giggling to myself-this reminds me of an essay i wrote my freshman year called "my most salient feature". i picked tall. of course.
5)kind. i dont mean wimpy or overly in touch with his feminine side. just kind. cares about people in general, but particularly me. msof wasnt kind. mr ex man was. well,until he wasnt any more.
6)funny. its hard to make me laugh. i have a dry, sarcastic(no! REALLY,smc?)sense of humor and even when i think something is funny, i dont laugh out loud too often. i love to laugh out loud. it makes me happy, so the man who makes me laugh makes me happy. prince charming doesnt need to be a stand up comedian or engage in physical comedy(hate physical comedy)to get points here. its just one of those things. you have it or you dont. it clicks or it doesnt, but when it does...its amazing.
7)smart. i am not talking m.i.t professor type brilliance here. i am pretty smart, but i lack in all things technical and mathematical. msof was really good at all that stuff, but he liked to try and make me feel dumb when i couldnt grasp technical concepts he thought were quite basic. mr ex man on the other hand was amazing in this area. he appreciated my intelligence, respected the differences between us, and was a thoughtful and willing teacher when i needed it. loved him for that.
8)desire to "provide and protect". i think i heard dr phil say that exact phrase, but its echoed in the proclamation. i have written and rewritten this section and i have decided that i will write an entire post on it at a later date. just know i am not looking for a sugar daddy or a body guard.
9)open to having children*
the likelihood of me ever getting pregnant is slim, but i would like the man i marry to love me enough to be open to it. i am not interested in being on any sort of birth control and i would like him to be happy and supportive if a miracle did occur. i also need him to be ok with the fact i might never get pregnant.
10)sex, sex, and more sex!
its been a while and i definitely want someone who will be up for a lot of intimacy. healthy intimacy. no porn-even casual "usage" would be a deal breaker. soft focus love making and all kids of wild and crazy stuff. with in limits. wild and crazy has really gotten out of control and there are plenty of things i would not consider; like swinging or group sex.
i am sure there are more thing i could list and i will probably edit this post as i think of them. ten seems like a good, round number to wrap this up.
these are the things i want. am i crazy? am i asking too much? seems pretty simple and basic to me, but here i am...single.