Thursday, March 31, 2011

roller coaster

i was up a little bit yesterday, but lower than low today.
jenn van had commented over a month ago about how she turned things around by BELIEVING Heavenly Father, not just believing in him. i totally get what she means, but even though i get it, i am falling short.
i am a girl with a black cloud over her head. quotes from "the secret" are screaming in my head about the law of attraction and how by even saying that i have a black cloud, i am putting it "out there", thus attracting MORE black clouds.
a vicious cycle that i am not breaking free of today.
i am not sure how to BELIEVE anymore.
maybe the roller coaster will climb back up tomorrow and i will remember.


  1. I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time with things. I definitely understand that. I wish I had something profound to say about things again. :) But I do understand that it can be hard to move from believing in God to believing that God has a plan for you and that this is part of His plan. I had a conversation the other day with a friend who has a eating disorder that has been harder for her to control lately. She is also struggling with her faith, trying to understand why God would give her something so horrible that would have such an impact on her life. In talking with her it hit me, and I shared with her, that God's plan is perfect for us. That we have been given trials, limitations and experiences that help us to progress the best we can toward being more like God. If we believe that, if we believe that God really does have a plan for us and that plan is in our best interest, then it becomes a little easier to manage the things that happen that are hard or hurtful or overwhelming. We realize we can petition God for understanding and insight. We seem to be able to go with the flow a little more with things that happen. I believe that we also are able to forgive ourselves and others when we and others do stupid things and get back to doing good things. My experience has been that I'm more curious about why I messed up when I mess up and what I can do the next time to stay on the path Heavenly Father has for me.

    Our anxiety has us say terrible things to ourselves. Even if we don't "really" believe those things, just saying them in our head has impact on our emotions and mood. Anxiety can be alleviated when we connect to God and remember His plan for us. We need to have words of truth from God that counteract the negative things that run around our head sometimes. I really dislike "the secret" because its too New Age-y for me and takes God out the equation. Remember, God is all powerful and will work mighty miracles in your life. I've seen it many times despite the fact that our society wants to take God out of our lives more and more. Turn to God and allow him to work miracles in your life!

    PS. So much for not having something to say... :)

  2. thank you for taking the time to post such a thoughtful comment.