i sent dick a valentines day card. i am so out of my element here. i am usually the breaker upper and when i do...i dont go back. now i am reaching out to a man who broke up with me. telling him my heart-letting him know that i am not ok with it, that i dont want to be broken up. i managed to do this in two sentences in a very simple valentines day card. i dont know what he will do or how he will respond, but i know i did what i had to do. i didnt even really ever consider doing anything like that-he broke up, we were done. pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on. a few weeks ago i was explaining a few things to a friend and he basically told me to stop whining and just write him and tell him how if feel. "why are you so afraid of allowing yourself to be vulnerable?" he asked me. i wasnt sure what the answer was, but he really brought into focus a weakness of mine and i decided to take his advice. only one friend knows i did this. i cant bring myself to tell anyone else because i feel so embarrassed about it. it seems weak. i keep telling myself that if it "works" i just might get all that i ever wanted. if he doesnt respond or responds negatively, then all i can say is i tried. nothing wrong with that, right?
lets see how long i keep this post up. :D