i went to a fireside where the biggest portion of the talk was about learning how the Holy Ghost speaks to you so that you can properly receive the revelations the Lord has for you. there was a time that i knew EXACTLY what i was being told. i was confident in personal revelation and moved on it with determination and success. now? not so much. mr ex man was where it all fell apart. i lost my confidence in my ability to understand the answers to my prayers. the hard stuff-the really important questions.
now i feel like i am being spiritually nudged to do things i am supremely uncomfortable with. when it comes to fight or flight-i fly. there are many areas in my life that i will fight, but...fight for a man? a romance? uh, no. why? oh there are tons of reasons and i wont bore you here. the point is; i am getting the message to fight for dick. is scares the shit out of me. i hate that. i hate being afraid of anything, but especially of something so silly. why be afraid of something so silly? even if i take the ultimate risk and put it all "out there" for him-whats the worse can happen? no matter what, i will be the same person i was 6 months ago before i even knew him. still a pretty cool chick-it wont make or ruin me one way or another.
i went to the temple today and the answers seem to be consistent. no matter how i ask the question, the answer is the same, but i still fear i am getting it wrong. if we are expected to wait on the Lord's time table do you think he will be generous in waiting form my timetable of getting myself in gear for such out of character actions? if you pray for strangers, please pray for me. :) thanks.