Friday, October 1, 2010
tom, dick, and harry...OH MY
tom is making plans/arrangements to come see me in a few weeks, dick still isnt divorced, but im's me every few days. i am nice, but dont flirt at all. i am not interested in being a rebound girl in any way, shape, or form. harry and i have a lunch date for tomorrow. i guess he has this "rule" about the first date is always lunch. i think its pretty smart and a good way to play it safe and see someone in the broad daylight. the hd version, so to speak. we made the plans earlier this week and he has made a few cute comments along the lines of "is it saturday yet?" and when we were both made aware of some sa dinner/dance thing(he doesnt dance so i am safe there)he asked me to go with him. he seemed a little embarrassed when i teased him about breaking his lunch date rule. i was moderately flattered and was considering breaking my sa activity boycott, but when i text'd him regarding the possiblity, he said he wasnt going. bad form to tease? i promise that it wasnt mocking or anything shaming. more flirty than anything. you know, imagine me batting my eyelashes and suddenly speaking in a southern drawl "you want to break your rule for little ole me?" that kind of stuff, but not that obvious or stupid. any thoughts?
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He kinda reminds me of one of my old roommates. Even on New Years Eve, he decided he would rather stay at home and watch the ball drop alone on tv than go to the LDS singles dance with us. His reasoning: if I go to a dance to meet girls, I will meet girls that like to go to dances. Before you are too critical of him, just remember that he is now married with two kids... I went to those dances and remain single. Still, I feel like there shouldn't be lots of hard and fast rules for dating. Guidelines. Hard and fast rules are for people who are lame or that can't handle the unexpected. Who wants to date or be married to someone like that?
ReplyDeleteim not critical-i think its smart-the whole lunch date thing, but i am worried that i shouldnt have teased him about it. i mean, i think that would make him overly senstive(for sure),but i still wouldnt want to do that. my mom keeps telling me that i might meet my dream man at a dance. i just dont buy it. i agree about the rules. i have let go of most of mine. everyone is different and you have to take it on a case by case basis.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think texting (which is what I assume you were doing) doesn't always read the way you think it does. Maybe he misunderstood. Just a guess. Everyone should be able to take some teasing.
ReplyDeletewe were texting, so i have taken that into consideration as well, but i still feel a little unsettled. texting really doesnt do dating and relationships any favors.
ReplyDeleteMaybe have a rule that until you have at least two or three dates with a new guy, texting is off limits. Talking on the phone is at least more personal than texting and you can hear the tone of voice.
ReplyDelete....And meeting a potential spouse is still a possibility at a singles dance. I did it. don't totally rule it out.
i have been thinking of new "rules" regarding how to segue from the dating site to actual communication and dating. i used to drag it out way too long and i have compressed it, but the texting stuff IS causing issues, so i need to rethink that.
ReplyDeletei guess i just need to suck it up and go to a dance.
I think the same way as Tripp's old roommate. Why go to an activity I dislike to meet girls? In my mind either they're there because they like that thing, or they're there to find a guy who likes that kind of thing. Dancing isn't my forte either, as an athlete I can wield myself with precision, but I wasn't born with rhythm, plus I just don't like the types of music most people dance to.
ReplyDeleteI usually just make sure that all people I text never take anything I say seriously. That's the great thing about texting, if you're upset, bothered, or angry you can just NOT reply, disaster averted. I hate when I'm joking via text and people apologize that's one of my deal breakers hmm, I should make a list of those...
i think i use texting as kind of a buffer and rely on it too heavily for actual communication. i am thinking back to all the text fights i had with mr ex man-texting was just not made for that, it cant replace actual communication.
ReplyDeleteyou guys make a good point about the activities-i just dont like them and meeting someone who does could be an issue. i guess it could be counted as one of lifes smaller issues, but...