for me, flirting is always inspired by genuine affection. all this silliness with mr jack mormon is new territory. unabashedly flirting with absolutely no intention is fun, but kind of weird. i have decided to embrace it for the time being. it effectively breaks up the dating hiatus i have imposed on myself. below is an excerpt from a recent text message conversation:
jack mormon: i cannot believe you wont have sex with me.
single mormon chick: sure you can. i have been saying it all along.
jm: just my opinion, but i think we would have great sex.
smc: really, why do you think that?
jm: we have such an easy time talking to one another.
smc: true
jm: they say having sex adds 3-5 GOOD years to your life.
smc: i have heard that. :)
jm: lets have sex for good health!
smc: you are so selfless.
jm: yet you reject all my kind offers. :(
smc: i dont want friends with benefits.
jm: we could be lovers with benefits. better yet, EXCLUSIVE lovers.
smc: i dont understand why you would be willing to commit to that.
jm: i dont understand why you wont!
this is one of many similar conversations. the few friends i have told about mr jack mormon think i should be flattered he is so tenacious. i vacillate between mildly insulted(does he not undersand the word "no"?)and a little flattered. i like him. he is funny, makes me laugh, and holds the door open. he makes no bones about wanting me. thats kind of nice,but i want more. love. i want to be in love. i want it ALL.
I guess I don't understand fully why you still keep him around. (Sorry if you have explained it earlier, I havent read your archives).
ReplyDeleteYes, he seems like a friend (of sorts), but he is definitely not husband material. So why keep him around? Especially if he is ACTIVELY working to be a bad influence on you. Real friends respect other's decisions even if they don't agree with them.
There is no way for me to fully understand your whole situation, but the fact that you are posting for the world to see implies that you want to hear what we have to say.
I say cut it off with him until he has a true change of heart, i.e. he becomes Active, Truly Converted Mormon Guy. Because as it stands, he seems to be a waste of time in the grand scheme of things.
Until he has a real change (which frankly may never happen), he will continue to try to force you into something you will regret.
You might have an easy time talking to each other but it seems like you are having terrible communication. I know this isn't ALL you guys talk about (hopefully) but I'm kind of getting sick of it. If he wants it that bad, he could get it anywhere. What exactly is he wanting from you? The satisfaction of breaking you down? Less guilt because you're a member and have standards? Obnoxious.
ReplyDeleteI was gonna say what Steve said, pretty much. He's been very clear about who he is. He wants to talk you into having sex with him, and he's wagering that, if he continues talking to you long enough he will. And he's probably right, although "long enough" is a pretty vague term. He's figuring that, if "no" meant "no," you'd have cut him loose when he made himself clear unless you wanted to entertain the notion. And, if you'll entertain the notion, you're already on the slope to it happening.
ReplyDeleteThis is dangerous business. You're volunteering to have a strong temptation in your life, and that means you have to rely on your own strength more than you would if you were relying on God's strength and walking away from this.
There is nothing flattering about someone trying to get you to go against your word and your standards. The only thing flattering is that he wants to have sex with you, and that's not appealing to your higher thought. It's appealing to the part of you who doesn't believe anybody will ever really want you again.
I'm not sure I get why you let this guy stick around either. But then again, who am I to talk? ;)
ReplyDeleteThe "EXCLUSIVE" in caps makes me want to double roll my eyes.
ReplyDeleteto be fair, he did not put "exclusive" in caps. i added that as my own eye roll, like promising exclusivity would sway me.
ReplyDeleteDid my eyes of a virgin ("virgin eyes" would've been wrong) just read that sex "adds" years or makes you younger? If someone is mistaken and it is the actually the latter that's good incentive to not spend my time talking attractive women into having sex... after all, 5 years younger and I'd be back in high school.
ReplyDeleteuh un, no way, I'm not having sex now till I am at least 26 - just in case - married or not!
Speaking of High School, this is textbook tool jock talks innocent cheerleader into giving away her V-card type of stuff, he sounds like he's reading a script from a Paul Walker-in-High-School-role, c'mon SMC you know better... the guys a tool.
-j
i do know better, just thought i could navigate this new, but somewhat appealing casual thing. lesson learned. i am just not designed that way. it got old really fast negotiating "if i cant touch you THERE, can i kiss you HERE" type stuff. sigh. sad commentary when the 20 somethings are so much more mature than 40 year old jack mormon. more reason to be a cougar. ;)
ReplyDelete