more questions for my married friends because my inquiring mind wants to know! please continue to be open and honest, i love everything you have told me so far.
1)how long have you been married?
2)do you have children? how many?
3)how often do you have sex?
4)how often would you like to have sex?
5)does your libido match your spouses?
6)are you in a sexual rut or do you mix it up to keep it interesting?
7)if you wanted things to change in your sexual relationship, do you feel comfortable going to your spouse with your ideas?
8)is there anything taboo or off limits?
9)do you feel church standards restrict you sexually in anyway?
DANG IT. I had this huge post all typed up and then lost it somehow. Here we go again...
ReplyDelete1)how long have you been married?
Three years. (I'm the same "Anonymous" who mentioned the horizontal makeouts in the last set of questions...hehe.)
2)do you have children? how many?
Half way through my first pregnancy.
3)how often do you have sex?
It varies. At least once a week though. Usually more like 2 or 3 times a week, with 2 being the average. During my first trimester it was less. I didn't feel like it (for the first time in our marriage!)
4)how often would you like to have sex?
I'd like to do it as often as we are able to both be recently showered and have our teeth recently brushed. I make exceptions for spontaneous middle of the night and early morning rendezvous but I just don't enjoy the kissing very much when one or both of us has morning breath. And I don't enjoy sex as much without the kissing. Usually. My husband doesn't mind morning breath though.
5)does your libido match your spouses?
The first year was really rough as I wanted it more often. I'm not sure why, but it was terrible. Maybe because it was all new to me and not to him? (He was a convert in his late teens.) We've evened out now. He seems to want it a little more, and I want it a little less than I used to.
6)are you in a sexual rut or do you mix it up to keep it interesting?
We aren't super experimental, but I don't think we're in a rut either. We vary positions a lot, with 4 or 5 favorites usually. (Not all during the same session though, haha.) We bought a little sex game (nothing too raunchy) for our anniversary and some oils and stuff. That was fun but I generally find it too messy and not practical. We never "plan" sex. It always just happens before there's time or games or oils
7)if you wanted things to change in your sexual relationship, do you feel comfortable going to your spouse with your ideas?
Yes! Very comfortable. We're very close in every way. I don't really have any embarrassing fantasies or anything, but if I did, I think I could tell him, eventually.
8)is there anything taboo or off limits?
Anal intercourse would definitely be off limits. The idea creeps me out. Hubby agrees. S&M and any other "weird" type stuff would also be off limits.
9)do you feel church standards restrict you sexually in anyway?
No, not really. We don't really do anything that the Church wouldn't approve of, I think. Except maybe oral? We both enjoy that and maybe the Church is iffy on it, I'm not sure. But I feel like as long as we're both comfortable with something and not involving other people or pornography, and nobody feels degraded or abused it's probably fine. If I ever felt uncomfortable doing something or felt like the Spirit couldn't be present while we were doing it than I would say no. And I know my husband wouldn't push it.
PS-This is so interesting. I hope you get lots of comments!
1)how long have you been married?
ReplyDelete7 years
2)do you have children? how many?
5 and planning on getting pregnant with #6 in a few months.
3)how often do you have sex?
It varies. Anywhere from 3 times a week to every other week. Depends on stresses of life, kids, varying drives, etc.
4)how often would you like to have sex?
Again, this varies. Sometimes I would like to have sex about every day, but there are others where I am good for a week or so.
5)does your libido match your spouses?
Mine is higher, but it is not a concerning difference.
6)are you in a sexual rut or do you mix it up to keep it interesting?
Only boring people get bored. We are pretty vanilla in our lovemaking, but we are open in our communication about our sex lives and we both are very satisfied with what we have right now.
7)if you wanted things to change in your sexual relationship, do you feel comfortable going to your spouse with your ideas?
Yes. Again, we try to be open in our communication about sex -communication improves intimacy more than any sex toy, new position, etc, etc, etc.
8)is there anything taboo or off limits?
Of course. Anything that is demeaning in any way or one of us does not feel comfortable with is off limits.
9)do you feel church standards restrict you sexually in anyway?
Interesting question. I do not see standards as restrictions. By living the WoW, I dont feel like I am being held back from drinking. Instead, I feel educated in my decision as I choose not to drink. The same is with sex. I feel like I have solid guidelines that help my wife and me achieve rewarding and beautiful intimacy.
To the commenter above, the church has never said oral sex is off limits. Individuals in the church have spoken their opinions on it, but the church has never given an official stance (ie the prophet has never said either way in General Conference). With pornography, the church has a definite stance. Be aware that there is a difference between official church doctrine and people's opinions.
Harold B Lee said:
"It is not to be thought that every word spoken by the General Authorities is inspired, or that they are moved upon by the Holy Ghost in everything they read and write. Now you keep that in mind. I don’t care what his position is, if he writes something or speaks something that goes beyond anything that you can find in the standard church works, unless that one be the prophet, seer, and revelator— please note that one exception —you may immediately say, ‘Well, that is his own idea.’ And if he says something that contradicts what is found in the standard church works (I think that is why we call them ‘standard’—it is the standard measure of all that men teach), you may know by that same token that it is false, regardless of the position of the man who says it."
But of course, as in everything use prudence.
hello, i'm the anonymous commenter from before, with the close calls.
ReplyDelete1)how long have you been married?
2.5 years.
2)do you have children? how many?
no kids.
3)how often do you have sex?
2-3 times a week, unless both of us are super stressed about something- work, school, etc. then it is less.
4)how often would you like to have sex?
usually i am happy with 2-3 times a week, sometimes i want it more.
5)does your libido match your spouses?
for the most part, yes. sometimes i won't want to have sex, and he will, and vice versa, but we mostly match up ok.
6)are you in a sexual rut or do you mix it up to keep it interesting?
we mix it up, but nothing to out-there.
7)if you wanted things to change in your sexual relationship, do you feel comfortable going to your spouse with your ideas?
yes. if i felt embarassed about something, it might take me some time, but yes, i feel like i could tell him.
8)is there anything taboo or off limits?
no anal. no s&m stuff.
9)do you feel church standards restrict you sexually in anyway?
no. like the previous commenter, if we both feel okay doing it, and no one is being hurt, then we believe it is fine.