Tuesday, November 17, 2009

why i keep him around

i have written about mr jack mormon here and there from the start of this blog. i dont have the time or energy to dig those posts out of my archives and i certainly dont expect you to, so i will give you a quick re-cap.

i met mr jack mormon via a lds dating site 2 years ago. after some witty banter via im and email, he asked me out. it was a nice date. no ones world was rocked, but it was a good enough time that i made the mental note that if he asked me out again i would probably go. he never did. i didnt hear from him until he friended me on facebook a year later. some more im and emailing. then another nice date. in no way was this a love connection , just a nice time. to some, "nice" may imply boring, but that wasnt the case. we had fun. interesting conversation, lots of laughs, and a certain ease being with each other. the conversations werent just surface or shallow. we talked about our common experience with divorce and his issues being a single dad. despite his apathy towards the church, he claimed a testimony of the atonement. he had learned some tough life lessons and was a better man for it. i liked a lot of the things he said and his point of view on several subjects.

the date- then- disappear cycle continued, but a short time ago something shifted. i dont know if i was ovulating when we went out and that caused some sort of chemical reaction on my part or i was just responding to him,but something beyond our previous experiences clicked. the date lasted about 8 hours, but the time flew. there was never a lapse in conversation and we laughed a lot. i know many people list sense of humor as one of the most important things they look for in someone, but i mean it when i say, i need someone who i can laugh with, who cracks me up, and finds me amusing as well.

i know i have mentioned it before, but it bears repeating; this thing between mr jack mormon and me is not love. i dont think it would ever grow into love for a myriad of reasons, but i like him. we enjoy each others company. our actual dates are few and far between, so the bulk of our contact is email, text, and im. he has never put an inappropriate move on me, rather his argument is an intellectual one, making a case against the validity of the loc. the thing is, he knows i dont buy his argument. not even a little bit. i keep him around because the attention is fun and harmless in the sense that no one is going to walk away with a broken heart. experience tells me that his attention span is short and he will disappear soon. surprisingly enough, thats ok with me.


  1. Ok, so Jack sounds like a little less of a d-bag. A little.

    I still think you need to create and enforce boundaries with this guy. It appears you do have some good boundaries going, but I suggest you make it clear you are done talking about the "academic" issue of the law of chastity. If he brings it up, you end the conversation right there. Ask to be taken home. Ask him to leave. Turn off the IM. Don't reply to his texts, whatever. If he is really interesting in a platonic relationship (which I highly doubt), he will respect your boundaries. It is possible to have good friends with whom you don't share all the same values. As long as propriety is established and maintained, you can actually be "just friends."

    It is my opinion (and opinions are like armpits -everyone has them and many stink) that he is just in it for sex. I totally agree with Jake's comment on the last post. Paul Walker needs to go. His movies all suck. Oh, and ditch Jack if he doesn't respect your boundaries-or by extension, you.

  2. thanks steve. ALL the truth, of course. we all need little reminders now and then. :)