Tuesday, August 31, 2010

cool mormon or just another nerd?

throughout my life, many of my non member friends called me a "cool mormon". i was able to walk that fine line of keeping the standards the church endorses and not being judgmental or exclusionary. my friends respected me, keeping the cursing to a minimum and running interference for me if anyone offered me an alcoholic beverage or a joint when i attended one of "those kind" of parties with them.

i guess i thought that would continue and in some aspects it has. i find more of the judgment comes from members than non. my non member friends still respect me and my choices not to drink or smoke(no one smokes pot anymore, but a few cigarette smokers)and keep the rated r movies to a minimum.

i have been thinking a lot about mr jack mormon and mr ex man. i have written a lot about mr jack mormon and how he debated the archaic nature of the law of chastity and how silly i was for sticking to it. not to mention his ice tea consumption and the occasional beer while watching football. me? not judging. him? JUDGING.
i really never got into mr ex man losing his faith. he told me one day he was leaving the church. this totally freaked me out(of course), but we all have varying crises' of faith and despite that i knew he was serious, i had faith that his testimony(it seemed like a pretty strong one when he bore it to me)would persevere. i dont know exactly what he is doing now, but the last information i got was that he stopped paying tithing, going to church, and was considering taking up drinking. he told me he would never marry because he doesnt think the government or the church should have that influence in his life. when i tried to give my(respectful)opposing view point, he mocked me. i am too old fashioned. judged. again.
i just dont get it. even when he was telling me things that were completely contradictory to what our relationship was built on, i respected him. listened politely. i believed him and what he was saying, but when i told him the things that were important to me,there was nothing but disrespect and contempt. sometimes there was even anger.
would it be too much to ask to agree to disagree and leave each other without all the exit damage?
there really wasnt exit damage with mr jack mormon. there was no real investment, so...no gain, no pain.
all of this is water under the bridge, but i have been thinking about it, trying to sort it out. to my non member friends, i am still cool, but to these guys i am just another nerd.
its a blue day for sure. sorry to be a drag, but its whats on my mind.

1 comment:

  1. I think you deserve respect for living by your convictions and allowing others to live their way. But even the people who most deserve respect will receive disrespect from some. They may be disrespectful because they're hurting, or they know they're wrong deep down but are trying to protect themselves from recognizing it. I hope you don't let it get to you.