Tuesday, August 24, 2010

no call for you

life with the mormon dating site is...WEIRD. i have been here before, done all of the "smiles" and "sparks" and the get to know you im's. why is it still so weird? maybe i am creating the weirdness because i am not embracing this process, but rather enduring it. a means to a possible end. what end? COME ON! you know what end. finding a good guy and getting married. a worthy goal, no? why does it feel so forced and unnatural?

i havent been spending too much time on the site, but i have gotten a few "hits" of interest. i have had im conversations with several guys, boys, men(it varied)and because of my past experiences, i feel on guard and not very much like myself. still, these guys, boys, men seemed interested and we had some nice conversations. except one.

i got an email from dusty4535 that contained one sentence: "would you like to chat?" i assumed he mean instant message, so replied back "sure". i then received an email with only his phone number. i know there might be a couple of ways of looking at this, but i went old school. "he expects ME to call HIM, when we havent even instant messaged?" his profile had very little to go on, so it seemed the equivalent of a questionable blind date. i know it seems that i am being hyper senstive, but with my history with the men(mr jack mormon,mr nice guy,&mr ex man)on lds dating sites, i think i have earned the right to be cautious.

i emailed him back letting him know(happy emoticons all over the place to let him know that i wasnt mad or being snobby)that i like to im 2-3 times before a phone conversation. the next time i was on, he im'd me right away, but within two seconds asked me to call him. i (less sweetly this time, but still not being bitchy)reminded him that we just started im'ing. then he got pretty pissy. saying that he could tell if a woman is crazy(i think he actually used the term 'mental problems')by the way she talks and he didnt want to waste time.

i stood firm despite him asking me at least 2 more times to call him. he explained that he wasnt an ugly(he didnt have a picture posted, so i couldnt verify this one way or another), desperate for dates, so he couldnt understand my hesitation. i didnt feel like going into my own checklist of how i figure out who the "crazies" are and within a few minutes he unceremoniously left our chat.

am i too old fashioned? shouldnt he ask for my number after 1 or 2 chats and then call me at a decent hour and we will talk for a while and get to know one another?

maybe i have it all wrong, but if i do, i just dont think i can play by these new rules.


  1. um yeah. I won't talk to someone on the phone without chatting first. And I would rather chat, then text, THEN talk.

  2. I have no idea what the rules are on internet dating but what comes to mind is that you probably shouldn't be giving out your number freely until you know more about him. Perhaps that is why he gave you his number so you wouldn't feel pressured to reveal part of your identity. Except as soon as you call he's got you on caller ID. Just thinking it out here. He seems a bit pushy to me- red flag!

  3. so glad you said that, because i was seriously thinking i was the only one. like i was some sort of social reject that was completely unhip and lacking the cool gene.