Wednesday, August 11, 2010

should we change?

how much should we change to please or accommodate the one we love or the one we are trying to "catch"? sandy totally vamped herself out to keep danny and danny went preppy for her, but underneath it all, they were still the same. danny was still all dressed in black under the letterman sweater and poor sandy didnt know what to do with that damn cigarette. she was a good girl at her core and he was a bad boy with a d.a.
i never changed to "get" a guy, but there are times i wonder if i should have. it might be easier to slut out a little than lose your man because you are too "uptight".

tgws and i broke up because i wouldnt have sex(i need to write a whole post on that drama)and i wouldnt stop telling him to quit doing drugs. on his 21st birthday, while getting drunk with his buddies, he met a girl at the bar who would do both with him. i do not regret sticking with my convictions on this one, but for my young mind(for a short time)i thought it was my fault. if i was cooler and more willing to experiment with drugs and actually have sex with him, we would have made it. i know, CRAZY thinking.
every relationship has to be negotiated and we all have to sacrifice a little to get the ultimate reward of a good relationship. what can go? church activity? minor word of wisdom issues?
just been thinking about this stuff lately. for those of you who feel they are in good relationships-did you have to change? what sacrifices did you make and were they worth it?


  1. Should we change? Of course we should change. We can't not change.

    Should we change for the better? By all means, we should be working to become better people, applying the atonement, repenting, growing, healing, etc.

    Should we change to please someone we're romantically interested in? If it's a change for the better, I think it's worth a try. If it's to compromise your values, then, no. If it's because you think the person won't like you if they know who you are, then, no. Especially if it's based in dishonesty, no.

    Danny was an idiot, who wanted to be cool for his friends. The efforts he made to change to please Sandy were improvements, and he was a better guy because of her. Her efforts to change to please him were not improvements (although those pants were quite amazing -- you know they had to sew her into them, right? She still has them), and left her less-than. Grease is not instruction on how to build a strong and lasting relationship. But the music is good.

  2. In the end you have to be able to live with yourself.

    I think defining how much change you should allow is impossible, but I will say that when you find the right person you'll both want to make changes for the better for each other.

  3. blain-i am going to trust that you know i wasnt using grease as a serious example to live your life by.

    woasm-i have been wondering where you are! you make a good point.

  4. Of course not. That would be stupid, and you're not stupid.