Wednesday, January 12, 2011

something weird

that has affected me more than i ever thought possible.
my sophmore year in high school there were so many seminary students that the seminary building and the one teacher could not manage them all.
brother cowboy was called to be our seminary teacher and chauffeur. he taught us every morning and then would take us to school. he was super cool and i remember him being a good teacher, but i dont remember a single thing he taught i only remember him telling us this:
he was joking about dating after he got home from his mission and how his grandmother admonished him to date at least 12 girls before he got married. he told about a few of the girls, but one stuck one in my brain-the one he broke up with because he didnt like how her thumbs looked. it was a funny story. they werent engaged or anything, but after a couple of dates he decided not to see her anymore because of her "weird" thumbs.
i havent thought much about it, but it came to me after i had been struggling with some self esteem issues, wondering why any man would be attracted to me(despite historical data contradicting these thoughts) because of my horrible disfigurements. ok-i MIGHT have been pms'ing, but i am not the only girl who goes through this, i assure you.
i digress-it got me thinking that if this great man(brother cowboy)rejected a perfectly nice woman because of her thumbs, what ridiculous grounds would a man reject me?
i have been racking my brain, trying to remember if i ever eliminated any guy because of something so silly.
have you? have you rejected someone because of their thumbs, or their feet, or any other shallow reason?


  1. well, I did recently blog about the guy who couldn't come up with ANYTHING in scattergories. That was kind of a turn-off

  2. i think that is different-at least a little. no coming up with anything in scattergories could translate into a lot of things like his intelligence and social skills in a group setting.
    msof had the ugliest feet. i hated them, but i loved him and it never crossed my mind to break up with him because of his ugly feet.

  3. I broke up with a guy because of the way he smelled. His mom dried all his clothes on an outdoor clothes line. The air didn't smell that great therefore he didn't smell that great. Wish I would have had the foresight to see I could have put his clothes in the dryer with a softie if he became my husband...the bad smell would've been gone instantly!

  4. I've never thought about breaking up with someone over some physical feature, in high school my girlfriend scored really low on a standardized test which marked the beginning of the end.

    I like to think that I haven't thought about it because I recognize those "little" things before a relationship begins. Of course there have been many reasons I've decided not to ask a girl out: poor grammar, overuse of typonese, I didn't like how one girl walked, one girl wore flip-flops ALL THE TIME, that's just a sample.

    I just try to pick out those thing before anything begins.

  5. I've never been the one who did the rejecting.

  6. this is the first time i have been broken up with. trying to decide how much of my issues have to do with that fact.
    i think there are many things you can see in advance and know they will bug you-like the flip-flop thing. i know the typonese bugs me as well as i am sure my lack of proper capitalization and erratic punctuation bugs some.
    not sure how i feel about the standardized test rejection. was she just a bad tester? i am sure you would have noticed right away if she lacked intelligence.
    i do know when i met my best friends husband i was stunned by how stupid he was and how she almost "mothered" him. she is brilliant and she married this dumb dumb? the marriage didnt last long, but his stupidity was one of the lesser reasons.

  7. I'm not talking kind of a low score, it was like one point lower and she wouldn't have been accepted to universities... Though really it was a trigger point, it made me realize we never had stimulating discussion, she was ignorant of rest of the world, really she was just the kind of person who schmoozed the teachers through school. So really it wasn't JUST the test score, but it was enough to open my eyes and reassess some things.

    I know you're still looking for a reason Dick dumped you, with the little information I have I would say it had almost nothing to do with you. Some people really don't like LDRs, I'm one of them, I've been in a few and they've all been good and worth it, but they were both with people I was attached to before they became LDRs. There's NO WAY I'd knowingly enter one from the beginning.

    If I had done something like it seems Dick did it would probably be because I wasn't ready to allow myself to become attached to someone that it was so difficult to see and be with. It's kind of the other side of the coin, when you're with the person the trip and the effort is ALWAYS worth it, but when you're apart you hate it all and it's frustrating.

    Of course that's all only based on what information I've gathered.

  8. i am pretty sure i know the reason(s) he dumped me, but the teenage girl in me does toy with the idea of not being good enough. i hate to even admit that. seems so weak and pathetic.
    i appreciate you you saying that it probably had nothing to do with me. seems to be the general consensus :)
    funny thing is when i met him on the dating site, i had made a commitment to no more ldrs. sigh.