Monday, July 12, 2010

done deal

my dating profile is up on one of the lds dating sites. i feel slightly nauseous. i am really trying to get to why this is making me so nervous. is it like a dance-afraid no one will ask the tall, non- blonde? is it because the last time i had a profile listed, i met and fell in love with mr ex man and we all know how that turned out?
even the pictures that i loved so much seem kind of icky to me. like somehow i morphed into an unattractive beast.
is it just me? am i being silly? do men go through this anxiety?
i am sure i will calm down. its just the initial step back into the abyss.
i hate feeling this way. kind of foriegn-i am ok in just about any other social situation. more than ok, but this is just DIFFICULT.

2 comments:

  1. You've got more guts than me!

    I'm paranoid about divorce, probably one of the largest contributing factor to my current bachelorhood. I always told myself if I got divorced after about 35 I'd have to try to accept the fact that I'd spend the rest of my life on my own. Not because I'd be old, but just because I wouldn't have the heart to try again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. sometimes i dont feel like i have the heart to try at all. thats the main reason for the "dating hiatus". i just dont feel like dealing with it all.
    the icky feeling is down about 30%. still resisting the urge to just go and delete it.

    ReplyDelete